Bromances: Fact or Fiction?
Are bromances ruining your dating life?
Remember how men used to be terrified of commitment and scared silly of serious relationships? Well 2009 is the year that’s all finally changing.
Straight men are suddenly into one-on-one romance like never before. Except those romances happen to be with other (straight) dudes.
Bromances are the new black. They’re popping up everywhere you turn – from the hilarious hit movie, I Love You, Man, to the crappy MTV reality show, Bromance.
Times Online has even created a timeline of bromances throughout cinematic history. Lest you think this is just a passing fad, the site traces male ‘mances back for decades, including Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Maverick and Goose, Han and Chewie, Kirk and Spock and of course, Batman and Robin.
But are bromances a real-life trend or simply a fantasy created by Hollywood? SpeedDate.com conducted a poll to find out the facts behind the bromance brouhaha.
It turns out only 14 percent of the men polled have a relationship they would categorize as a “bromance.” But an additional 47 percent of the men polled say they’re definitely tight with their male friends.
Where does one draw the line between buddy and bromance? That’s a question women have been asking themselves for years.
Most women polled in the SpeedDate.com survey said bromances weren’t a deal breaker and that they would definitely date a guy involved in a bromance. Forty-five percent of women responded that bromances were “great” and another 32 percent said they were “weird,” but that it wouldn’t stop them from dating someone.
In my experience, nearly every straight guy is carrying on some sort of bromance.
A male editor friend of mine admits: “I think the relationship my best friend and I have is more complicated than the one we have with our wives,” he says. “When I call him and his wife answers, she says, ‘Your girlfriend is on the phone.’ Of course, he’s the complicated man-child, not me.”
A 33-year-old actress describes her ex-boyfriend as a “serial bromantic,” who carried on three serious bromances during their relationship.
“This guy would call his parents maybe once every two weeks. But he’d be on the phone with ‘buddy of the week’ every two hours. He was on the phone with his guy friends far more than I was ever on the phone with my girl friends.”
While that may be an extreme example of bromance gone awry, most fellow friendships are fairly benign. And women are wise to let men get their dynamic duo fix.
“Bromances are a good sign of a high-functioning, well-adjusted guy, who’s comfortable with feelings and commitment,” a 28-year-old female teacher tells BettyConfidential.com. “It’s healthier than dating someone who’s a sullen hermit crab.”
A 32-year-old male exec says he encourages the women he’s dating to be comfortable with his bromances.
“Women should try harder to win over a guy’s best friends – if my boys aren’t in to being around you, it’ll make me a lot less likely to include you in my plans,” he says. “It can really make a relationship difficult because it forces me to choose between spending my precious free time with you or my friends.”
And it could be worse, as one male writer tells us.
“I’m married. I have a bromance with my Xbox.”
Would you date a guy who’s having a bromance?