Cringe-Inducing Mommy Moments
What to do when your kids embarrass you
If you haven’t started already, soon enough you’ll be embarrassing your children regularly. You’ll wipe food off their mouths with your own spit. You’ll hug them in front of their friends. You’ll kiss your husband passionately, and they will be grossed out. But how about now? What about those times that your usually charming, beautifully-behaved baby makes you wish you were invisible?
Here are some comedic ways to come back from five cringe-inducing mommy moments.
1. Your infant throws up at his christening. On your mother-in-law’s Dior suit.
“Jokingly say, ‘I guess the baby’s christening you today,’ then offer to pay for the dry-cleaning,” suggests Elizabeth Beckwith, mom and author of Raising the Perfect Child Through Guilt and Manipulation, in bookstores October 6. “If your mother-in-law is a good person, she will laugh it off and refuse to accept your offer of dry-cleaning. If your mother-in-law is pissed and makes an icy comment about how much the suit is worth … I’m so sorry for you,” adds Beckwith.
2. Your toddler knocks down the entire stack of jarred beets at the grocery store and there is glass – and sticky veggie juice – everywhere.
“Apologize on behalf of your toddler, and alert an employee to the mess. If anyone gives you any guff, tell her/him, ‘What? You’re lucky I’m not suing! My kid could have sliced his neck open!’ Then walk off in a huff as you ask your toddler if he is okay, giving him a big hug,” says Beckwith. Or you could simply do as comedian and mom Sally Haas (comedybysally.com) advises: “Be cool. Act like you don’t know your own toddler.”