ASK REAL GUYS
Does He Want to Be With Me?
Dear ASK REAL GUYS: I had a total crush on my friend’s cousin, and she told me that I should add him on messenger and start talking; I refused because I thought it’d be weird. Well my friend told him about this and he decided to add me to his buddy list, and we chatted and everything seemed great. Over Christmas my friend informed me (unbeknownst to her cousin) that his former love came back home for Christmas break and they dated and talked about possibly reuniting. I figured he and I would never happen. So when my friend, her boyfriend, another friend, myself, and the cousin I was crushing on went to a cabin for the weekend I figured there was no chance.
One night he was very quiet so I asked him why he wasn’t talkative, and he explained that it was because of his old love. He went on to say that they’d liked each other for a while, dated twice over Christmas and now she was basically blowing him off and not returning his calls (she had gone back home), and he said he was fed up. I was shocked he’d confided in me because he was a relatively shy guy.
The night we returned from the cabin, he messaged me when I signed online and we started chatting. I asked if he’d been talking to his ex and he said no. I told him he’d find someone better and he said “I don’t know, I think I might take a break from relationships for a while.” My question is: Should I take this as a hint that he doesn’t want a relationship with me, or is he trying to tell me that he needs time to get over her (because I really think he likes her a lot) before he can move on? My heart tells me he likes me because he seems to trust me enough to confide in me. Help please!
Matt: This guy is heart-broken. He needs some time to get over his ex. He confided in you because he felt comfortable and unthreatened talking with you (he may like you, but it does not necessarily mean that he likes you). It may have been helpful for him to express himself. I would maintain the friendship, but not try to pursue anything more until he’s on solid ground again.