Coping with the election results

Before you pop your first Advil to stave off the post-celebratory partying hangover, (or the agonizing pain of defeat), we're here to give you some friendly advice . . .

Scoop

Election Night: Are You a Loser or a Winner?

No moping or gloating!

-Mary Beth Sammons

Election Night Good morning America! Election Day has come and gone. A new president is born. Just like on Project Runway, some of us are winners, others losers. Before you pop your first Advil to stave off the post-celebratory partying hangover, (or the agonizing pain of defeat), we’re here to give you some friendly advice . . .

Tips for the Winners:

  • Put a Clamp On It

There’s no need to race to your neighbor’s lawn to pluck his sign and burn it in your at your victory patio bonfire celebration. There’s no need even to smirk. Or even put a clamp on saying “I told you so” more than ten times today. You’re the winner, tra-la!

  • No Preening

What a relief that everyone has acknowledged who’s to blame for the hideous state of the economy, the war in Iraq… and everything else that sucks in life. In gratitude, lock yourself in the bathroom, jump up and down and cheer.

  • It Doesn’t End Here!

This goes for EVERYONE … yesterday was just one (albeit historic) day. An incredible change was set into motion. But don’t just rest on your laurels and leave it at that. Stay involved, continue to let your voice be heard.

Tips for the Losers

You can be a good sport and congratulate the winners or:

  • Stay under your covers, lock your door, and have a good cry!
  • Print stickers saying: Boy, are you gonna be sorry!
  • Move to a Red State (a real red one! Not one of those sneaky states like Ohio) and stay there for four years. 
  • Or just smile sweetly at all the winners you know and quote St. Theresa of Avila who could have been talking about politics when she said, “Answered prayers cause more tears than those that remain unanswered.”

And remember … It Doesn’t End Here!

This goes for “winners” and “losers” alike. Stay involved and continue to let your voice be heard.


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