Betty’s New Year, New You Series
Find New Love in the New Year
How? Clean your closet!
Betty’s New Year, New You Series is dedicated to making 2009 your best year ever. Find more articles in the series below.
It’s a new year – time to bring some new love into your life.
I can hear that little voice in the back of your head. Why should I even bother? Why would this year be any different from the others? I’m only reading this article so I look busy at work while my Lean Cuisine nukes, not because anything will ever change for me.
Tell that little voice to suck it.
I could advise you to join a dating service, strike up conversations with random guys or buy yourself a dating self-help book. I could offer you any number of logical (borrrring) suggestions for meeting men.
But this is 2009 – the year we throw logic off a cliff, ballasted by our 401(k)s. Instead, I’m giving you the strangest piece of love advice you may ever receive: Clean your closet.
What is this woman smoking? I want a boyfriend, not housework.
Tell that little voice to silence itself or I will silence it in a Sopranos-worthy accident.
I first discovered the clean-closet advice from an old roommate. She was obsessed with feng shui and – like a faithful Jehovah’s Witness – cheerfully and consistently tried to convert me. She pointed out the careful changes she made to her own bedroom (lots of red, new geography for her bed) and casually left feng shui books on my desk (between my worn copies of He’s Just Not That into You and Men Are Just Desserts).
Despite my single status and the fact that her decorating changes had indeed coincided with the arrival of her fantastic boyfriend, I scoffed at her suggestions.
As I thumbed through her book, one suggestion struck me as particularly insane: Make room for love by cleaning out your closets.
Feng Shui expert Stephanie Roberts explains it this way:
“Look at your closets, shelves, and dressers, especially in the bedroom; if they are all filled to capacity with your own stuff, make clearing some room for your current or future partner a priority. Aim to free up 25 percent of the space in your bedroom for someone else’s things. When you are done, take a moment to visualize your loved one’s belongings finding a home there.”
Please, I eye-rolled. Has this woman seen my shoe collection? No way in hell was I sacrificing precious closet space for an imaginary man from the future.
I snapped the book shut, tossed it back in my roommate’s spiritual palace and forgot about the whole feng folly.
A year passed. I got offered a job in another city, packed up most of my life and moved across the country. A few months later, I returned to my old apartment with a very cool boy I’d recently started dating. He asked if he might hang up his jacket.
I threw open my wardrobe doors, revealing a gloriously half-empty clothes rack.
“Wow,” he said. “You have so much space in your closet.”
Hmmm. There might be something to this feng shui after all. Turns out getting a new guy for the New Year doesn’t require hundreds of dollars on new shoes, new clothes, new dating books or new therapy. You just have to clean your closet.
More in the New Year, New You Series: