Four Flirting Pitfalls

Heidi Isern discusses the four flirting pitfalls and how women do not know how to flirt.

Betty Blogger

Four Flirting Pitfalls

Women don’t know how to flirt

-Heidi Isern

a man and woman flirtingIt’s springtime, and love is in the air. As the weather warms, clothes come off and women and men check each other out anew.

However, I have noticed a very disturbing trait among many of my female friends. They do not know how to flirt. I watch charming men approach them at outdoor watering holes and shake my head in dismay as they immediately clam up, and even worse, run away.

In order to fully diagnose this problem we decided to classify the ladies into four categories of flirting failure. For only by understanding our behaviors can we truly start to change them.

The four flirting pitfalls women fall into:

1. The Cold Shoulder Bitch
This woman uses the cold shoulder as a defense mechanism. Even if she has been pining away for a man, reading Pablo Neruda poetry for months in his honor, she will appear about as interested in him as a girl in an orthopedic shoe store. God forbid he ever have the slightest clue that she may fancy him for more than a doormat. The cold shoulder bitch NEVER initiates conversation. But once in one, she may even go so far as to disdainfully make comments that highlight her indifference or even contempt. “Oh you graduated first in your class. Hmm…likely didn’t have a social life did you?” Or “So you think you are sporty? Well I bet you haven’t done an iron man like most of the men I know.” In conversations she may make a point to stare at her watch or out the window, anywhere but into the man’s soft brown eyes. Why, if she did that, she would lose all composure.

2. The Pathetic Introvert
The Pathetic Introvert is actually quite gregarious in other settings. But when approached by a man she likes she simply cannot stop staring at her shoes. When asked a question by her dream man she may mumble stutter, and say, “Ack I am so sorry…..I am just such a word klutz today” and then dismiss herself to go to the bathroom where she will try to give herself self-affirmations in the mirror before bursting into tears. If she manages to wipe clean her mascara tracks and reappear, she will be tempted to talk about the weather rather than anything controversial, feeling it may be safer. “Soo…’s been really humid hasn’t it?”

3. The Troll Lover
The Troll Lover prevents herself from talking to normal decent men by getting engaged in conversations with trolls-or unattractive Lord of The Ring Enthusiasts – just because it seems a safe bet. The Troll Lover doesn’t want to appear rude and extract herself from the conversation, so she sits talking to them for hours rather then be whisked away by a shining knight. Oh yes, she will patiently listen to the troll’s latest video game championship tales and fondness for Vienna sausages while trying to find something redeeming about her current predicament. If a non-troll (i.e., shiny knight) tries to rescue her, she won’t allow it, thinking that she will go to hell unless she engages in her fair quota of dwarf conversations for the week.

4. The Show Off
The Show Off masks her feelings of inadequacy by feeling a compulsive need to let her current flame know ALL her achievements. Oh no, there is no gradual ‘unfolding of the blossom’ in this case. On a first date the show off will let a suitor know her SAT scores, marathon time, favorite winery in Napa where they know her by name, as well as her fondness for daredevil stunts. She hopes to woo a man by intimidation and will never let it be known that she has two left feet on the dance floor or that it took her three years to be potty trained.

Most of my friends have self-diagnosed themselves as one of the four types. Several are considering flirt remedial school where they will learn how to give men soft touches on the arm, look in their eyes and rediscover their self-confidence. No one wants to miss out on flirting now that the hot weather is approaching. Cute sundresses, after all, need to be maximized.

Read Heidi’s last blog, “Dating the Aplha Male

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0 thoughts on “Four Flirting Pitfalls

  1. As a “Troll Lover” myself I have to say that I find this article ridiculous, sub-par, and catering to a particular stereotype of females. Every woman who engages a Lord of the Rings enthusiast is not lost on the subject, just as every Lord of the Rings enthusiast is not an acne-ridden uber-nerd with asthma. Furthermore, if whether or not you’re capable of flirting is a true concern in your life perhaps it’s time to find a more worthwhile pursuit–such as reading an actual book every once in a while instead of simpering articles that tells you your shortcomings in comparison to “the beautiful people” of the world.

  2. I’m sorry, but I’m a bit offended by the ‘Troll Lover’ thing. You’re blatantly trying to avoid the word ‘geek’, but that’s obviously what you mean. I flirt almost exclusively with geeks, and not because I think that’s a safe bet. I love Lord of the Rings. I love video games. I love dwarfs. I want to talk to guys with similar interests. I find nothing more romantic than a quiet evening playing Halo with my guy. If a ‘shiny knight’ tried to whisk me away, I’d be offended at the thought that I’d be bought over by nothing but a nice face. Please try to remember that girls may not share your views in men.

  3. I have to admit that I’m somewhere between offended, horrified, and really proud of myself. I’m so very glad that I’ve matured well beyond defining myself by the men that I associate with. But the message of this article still bothers me, because it calls on archaic stereotypes of women and, quite frankly, I think that’s degrading. My worth isn’t -dependant- upon any member of the male gender, and I’m sure my fiance would laugh at this entire article.

    Though, I really must admit that I find it amusing to highlight a need to rediscover self-confidence, when I’ve noticed that a leading cause of low confidence is the constant worrying of what men think of you. Am I flirting all right? Should I flip my hair more? Am I making decent small talk? I don’t know what to say, does he look bored? What if he doesn’t like me because I watch Lord of the Rings? I’m getting so nervous, what if I start sweating?
    Get over yourselves, ladies. Be yourself, and love it. And, never sacrifice a good conversation for a “knight,” regardless of how pretty their armor may be. Any man who’s actually worth anything will gravitate to you.

  4. I agree with the above posters on this article. I’m really becoming annoyed at Betty Confidental lately with all the posts I’m coming across that are horribly superficial and shallow.
    I love nerd guys, being a nerd myself. I’m young, attractive, tall and beautiful, but I don’t care what the guy I like looks like cause, guess what, I like him!

    I don’t understand why women are so obsessed with finding a man and that it’s the only way they can be happy, apparently. Perhaps I’m too young to understand, but my mother has always been the same.

    Women have basically doubled back on themselves regarding the feminist movements. What did women fight for all those years ago? So we can gladly be sexual objects until our “Shining knight” whisks us away to a life where we demand to be treated equally yet, at the same time, like women? We can’t have both.

    This post is lame.

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