He is Getting Lazy about Our Relationship

A woman seeks advice about whether or not she should continue to pursue a relationship.


He’s Being Lazy about Our Relationship

Dear ASK REAL GUYS: I met a man last year on an International flight. He travels for a living and I am planning on relocating as soon as I can close my business in the States, and restart my life over in France where I have family. He calls me each day, and when he came to the States for a conference I flew into the city where he was – at my own expense – and we had a very nice time. Due to the economy here, trying to sell property is taking much longer than anticipated and for now I am locked into remaining here. I cannot travel as I have to conserve money in order to survive once I relocate. I also would not be able to work as I would not have the correct Visa.

This man and I have discussed a future together, but he has made no attempt to come to visit me here. We all know – at least in the last few months – that the Euro is much stronger than the dollar. Is this relationship going nowhere?

He has never been married, is rapidly approaching middle age, so should I just forget about this, since if the shoe were on the other foot, I would make more of an effort rather than complain that I still am not in France?

I would appreciate any insight, as I am very unsophisticated in matters of the heart. I was widowed very young several years ago and have not really dated much, by choice, as I knew I was planning to relocate.

Matt: Your initial instincts are answering your own question. Clearly you are unsure about this situation and have some uncertainty about the circumstances. I would not rush to move to France to be with this guy. Let him show more initiative. Have him come visit you or let him pay for at least half of a trip to visit him. Right now, he has nothing to lose by having you move there. What if things don’t work out after a few months – will you be alright with that? Also, be careful of the “honeymoon dating effect.” It’s easy to get along and enjoy someone in short, fun, honeymoon-like spurts – but being around someone all the time changes the dynamic tremendously.

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