He Pursued My Girl After we Broke Up

A woman seeks advice about how she should ever trust her friend again.

What Would Debbie Do?

He Went Around Me to Get to My Girl

Dear Debbie,

A friend of mine tried to flirt with my ex after we broke up, and although my ex and I got back together in the end I really couldn’t accept what my friend did. I felt stupid, betrayed and used because I was the one who introduced him to my ex in the first place. I haven’t spoken to my friend in months, nor can I imagine befriending him again. What should I do? How am I supposed to process this? Thanks Debbie!

Dear Betrayed,

Boundaries in relationships are funny things. When someone is available, and no longer involved in a relationship, I guess you can say that they’re fair game, for anyone. But I think we all know that it’s hurtful when our loved ones move on to someone new-no matter who it is, or for what reason. It takes time to get over things, even when we’re the ones who might have initiated the break-up.

Therefore, I know your relationship with your friend has been damaged. While technically, your girl was available, and your friend had every right to make overtures, I know it’s hard to imagine, and fundamentally, the relationship becomes strained. Time heals all, and maybe a day will come when you realize that no girl should get in the way of a good friendship. If the friendship was good, and you value it, it will fall back in place.

That’s what I would do…


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