ASK REAL GUYS
He Isn’t Communicating
Dear ASK REAL GUYS: I have been dating my boyfriend for two years, and for the past three months he has not acted the same as when we first got together. He hasn’t called me for two days and I am wondering what is wrong. We live apart and he pays for my airfares so I am able to go visit him. I went last weekend, returned on Monday, and now he is not answering his phone. He cheated on me in the past, and once I found out he immediately stopped and apologized.
Obviously we continued seeing one another, and then I cheated on him. I too apologized for my behavior, and now I’m thinking that he is cheating again. Do you think he is? His job is very demanding so he may just be super busy. Thanks!
Steven: Hmm … he has cheated and you have cheated as well and you are wondering whether he is cheating on you now? Plus it is long distance? I would say things don’t look good.
Having said that, it is difficult to say without knowing why you have both cheated on each other. Does he have a track record of cheating? Remember the past usually is a great indicator of the future unless there is a major wakeup call that has them change their ways. If he cheated before and he says he is sorry, as you have indicated, but he does not say much else as to why he did and what will be different in the future, then there is probably a high likelihood that he will cheat again.
You might want to look at Ask Real Guys archived answers to questions about trust and cheating for other help and indicators. One final thought though regarding him being busy, we are all busy and have busy jobs. Generally, we make time for what we want to. My suggestion is to talk to him about what will be different in the present and the future that can assure you that he will not cheat again … and you should be prepared to do the same regarding your cheating.
Also have an open honest conversation as to what each of you is looking for in a relationship to make sure you are aligned. Based on what you find as a result of the talk, I think you will know in your heart whether he deserves your heart.