PhePhe on Astrology
Today’s Horoscope: Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Capricorn December 22 – January 19
The Mediterranean diet is probably the best that a Cap could try. You love fish and lightly cooked vegetables, so it’s no wonder that a diet that actually feels as if you aren’t dieting would appeal to your senses. Today, you can expect your finances to rise slightly, as money will be found where it was once lost. You will also experience déjà vu, which may leave your head spinning. Go with the flow and let it happen. Stick with your diet plan. Try getting a grip.
Aquarius January 20 – February 18
Rapper Jim Jones has been charged with assaulting Ne-Yo at a Louis Vuitton store. There’s no way that this would have happened this month: With Jupiter in Aquarius, tempers are actually cooling down. Everything is -hunky-dory today, with not a blimp on the radar. If anything, you can expect to have a couple of friends call to ask about your whereabouts. Now might be a good time to start thinking about how you can set the world on fire. Don’t forget to check into recycling. Try: being your best.
Pisces February 19 – March 20
When someone thinks of professional bull riders, the image immediately conjures up tough, cowboy-hat-wearing men who love dirt. That’s probably an accurate assessment of the average bull rider, however, perception isn’t everything. Your world, or the world that you occupy, is preparing for an upheaval. For instance, when people think of Pisces, they immediately think procrastinator, dreamer and possibly two fish swimming in opposite directions. But the truth is no one should or could be expected to live up to their perception of the world. Today, your world will experience an earthquake, so wear your seat belt. Try: dreaming of better days.
Aries March 21 – April 19
Kelly Clarkson is set to release a new album in March, and you are still wondering about yesterday. Sounds like one of you has a plan and one of you is still waiting for a plan to materialize. The past few weeks have you thinking that maybe it’s time to change careers, or at least find a new job. You have been feeling underappreciated both at work and at home, and because you aren’t ready to confront the home problems, you will spend your day focusing on the work life. Sounds fitting for someone who prides herself on being direct yet who walks around thinking defeatist thoughts. If you truly want to be happy, you have to start viewing yourself in a better light. Try: reading a romance.
Taurus April 20 – May 20
Alyssa Milano is engaged to agent David Bugliari. Happiness is the one thing that everyone in the world – all 6 billion people – is seeking, and it does the heart good when we hear about others achieving that goal. Someone has caught your fancy, and whether or not you are in a relationship, you are tempted to see where it could go. Of course, you don’t plan to cheat, but you have been feeling unloved lately, and the idea of having someone flirt with you even when it’s harmless makes you feel like a million dollars. Isn’t life grand when a smile can make you tingle inside? Try: origami.
Gemini May 21 – June 21
Hugh Hefner has three girlfriends again – as if that were something to crow about. Does parading around with three beautiful women on your arm prove that you still have it, or is it the image of having three beautiful women fawning over you that gives you power and more prestige within the community? It’s a mad mad mad world when image is more important than reality. All one has to do is compare Madoff to Hefner, and you discover that both men have a case of image-itis. Who cares what someone else thinks of you when what you should be concerned with is what you think of yourself when the lights are off and no one’s home but you. Try: squeezing more out of all things.
Cancer June 22 – July 22
Levi Johnston’s mother pleads not guilty to selling Oxycontin. Rather than go into the entire story, let’s just say that selling prescription drugs is big business, as evidenced by the daily newspaper stories. It appears that for some people, skirting the law is akin to picking their nose. What is it about this society that honest living has become shameful? What makes a person want to live above his or her means without doing the work? If this sounds like you, then it’s time for a refresher course in the past. Many of our grandparents worked in factories and our parents were midlevel workers, and now we all want to be Cristal drinkers when we are actually Budweiser fans. Try: smart shopping.
Leo July 23 – August 22
Princes William and Harry have been granted their own office – three staff members and a small team to help them handle their public duties and private lives. Don’t you wish we all had help in our lives to take the burden off our own shoulders? Right now, your days have gotten so hectic, you aren’t able to tell whether you are coming or going. Life can be a roller coaster, and your life has taken on ever larger heights. But there is hope for you. Today, you are going to have a slow and mellow day. It may feel a little slower than normal, but one thing you will find is that nothing seems to faze you. Try: getting your mojo back.
Virgo August 23 – September 22
In July 2008, Jason Mesnick’s marriage proposal was shot down by DeAnna Pappas on The Bachelorette. The pity party officially ends now: The single dad recently let it slip that he’s engaged to one of the 25 gorgeous ladies jockeying for his heart on The Bachelor. Success is in the air, and you are primed to grab the rewards. Today, nothing can stop you from getting what you deserve. Isn’t it a powerful thing when karma comes back to smile on your shoulders? Try: revealing a little lace.
Libra September 23 – October 22
Carrie Underwood has a new boyfriend. Your best friend just met someone and is in love, and you are still mired in the same holding pattern that you were last year. So many things are happening in your immediate circle that you really haven’t spent any time thinking about the future or the past. That’s what today will show you. You have spent so much time getting caught up in the happenings around you that there are a few things slipping through in your daily life right now, so spend some time getting back on track. And don’t be afraid to use the word ‘no’ today. Try: showing off your assets.
Scorpio October 23 – November 21
Josh Brolin gets slapped on the wrist for Louisiana cop showdown, but no one is talking about the friends who were with him when the brawl broke out. Teamwork will be the key word for you today. From the moment you leave your house, you will find yourself needing and receiving the aid of complete strangers. It sounds hokey, but today you will learn a valuable lesson. YOU CAN’T DO EVERYTHING ALONE. It’s one thing to be independent and another thing to take it too far. You will learn to reach out and include others (even when you don’t need their help) just to keep the harmony. Try: decorating your walls.
Sagittarius November 22 – December 21
Amy Winehouse has been caught with a new friend; let’s hope he isn’t like the last loser. The fact that Amy fell down will continue to plague her, even if she rises again. The world expects perfect people, but the last time the census came through town, nobody was able to fit into that category. It seems that people have a hard time forgetting the fall downward, but very few remember that everyone falls from grace at least once. How soon we forget that slow rise to fame and fortune, only to remember the quick descent back into obscurity. The big question of the day is how we dare judge someone who has served their time and risen from the ashes again. Amy may triumph, and so shall you. Try: lusting after someone.