How To Get Over Mr. Wrong and Find Mr. Right

Lisa Steadman, author of "If He's Not the One, Who Is?” talks about healing heartbreak and finding your perfect match.
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How To Get Over Mr. Wrong and Find Mr. Right

Lisa Steadman, author of “If He’s Not the One, Who Is?” talks about healing heartbreak and finding your perfect match.

-Carrie Seim

A happy woman

You thought he was the one. Turns out, not so much.

Congratulations – you’ve just made the best decision of your life! (Whether or not this was technically “your” decision is of little importance.) I know, I know, it probably doesn’t feel like something to celebrate. In fact, you’re probably asking yourself, Now what am I supposed to do?

Relationship coach and author Lisa Steadman tackles that tricky question in her new book, If He’s Not the One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong and What it Takes to Find Mr. Right.

I just went through my own breakup, so when I read what Lisa wrote down after a huge break-up in 2003 (“I’m thirty-two and single again and I feel like a total failure at love”) I decided we needed to chat. Like, immediately.

Read 8 Warning Signs He’s Breaking Up With You

Your book encourages women to trust themselves and move forward after heartbreak, even if it’s an extremely scary proposition. How can women get themselves unstuck and stop obsessing over what could have been?
First and foremost, it’s important to let yourself have those feelings and fears of “I’ll never meet anyone again!” That’s just a natural part of our healing process. But what usually follows those thoughts are a downward spiral of lack, scarcity and the belief that your ex is going to move on to an amazing life without you. That’s where we get into trouble.

By getting stuck on our ex’s future, we forget to think about our own. We forget that we now have the chance to reinvent ourselves and our lives. We forget that the love we had with our ex wasn’t a mistake, it was actually part of our journey. And if we put our focus back on our journey, we can reconnect to hope, possibility, and the idea that one day we’ll actually meet someone more amazing than our ex, someone we never could have loved or appreciated without having gone through the relationship with our ex.

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0 thoughts on “How To Get Over Mr. Wrong and Find Mr. Right

  1. The good news is that you don’t need any dating service to find Mr. Right. These basic tips below will help you to find the right guy for you! Here are they:

    * First, you need to decide what kind of guy that you want like what kind of personality he must have, what characteristics he must possess, what value in life that he must have, and how he looks in order to be sexually attractive. It sounds a bit clinical when talking about future husband material, but it’s the truth. If you don’t know what your goal is in anything you do, you seriously damage your chances of getting it.
    * Second, when looking for love, you need to look for the person on the inside, not the person on the outside. In this world today we focus too much on physical appearance. For example, Bill from accounting with the old glasses might be your prince charming if you can get past the shallow tendency to look only at physical appearance. We girls like to have it all, and well, guys aren’t that good at giving it to us, but they mean well, and they try so hard.
    * Lastly, Be Honest and open! Honesty is the number one most important thing in any relationship. And true, if you’re breaking up with a few of the men they might be hurt, but they would rather hurt for a day or two, then stay in a relationship that is based upon false emotions.

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