You talk about an “invisible electric fence” we should put around an ex – such a spot-on visual. Are we really not allowed to stay in touch with him? What if he’s a really, really nice guy?
A lot of our exes are really nice guys. But staying friends with an ex immediately following a breakup puts our future on the hold. On some level, our heart stays connected to our ex, which means there’s no room for somebody new to come into the picture. It also means we’re not giving ourselves the opportunity to heal.
I met my husband almost a year to the date of cutting Mr. Ex off cold turkey. No calls, no e-mails, nothing. And in the meantime, I met and dated some really fun, fabulous men.
My relationship ended just a few weeks ago. What three things should I do right now?
• Unfriend your ex on Facebook and Twitter. Immediately. No cyberstalking allowed.
• Gather your Woohoo Crew, i.e. your friends who are going to be there for you. Plan fun single-gal adventures. Celebrate their love and support.
• Create a plan for your future, without him. What great adventures await now that you’re free to follow that inner voice? Do you want to travel, go back to school, change jobs, buy property, take up salsa dancing? You decide. And act/plan accordingly.
You say that if we think a new guy might be Mr. Right, we have to brave enough to ask him, “Where is this going?” Awkward! Is that realistic in this age of easy, breezy, low-key dating?
These conversations are definitely awkward. But what’s even more awkward is deciding to fall for some guy you’re seeing before really understanding if he’s falling for you. As women, we can’t be afraid to rock the boat. We have to be willing to risk big to win big.