How To Get Over Mr. Wrong and Find Mr. Right

Lisa Steadman, author of "If He's Not the One, Who Is?” talks about healing heartbreak and finding your perfect match.
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If He’s Not the One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong and What it Takes to Find Mr. RightWhat about your “no sex with a new guy until you’re exclusive and have had the commitment conversation” rule? Did you do this with your husband?
Yes. We were both at places in our lives where we were done with dating drama. Had we jumped into a physical relationship before our emotional intimacy had deepened, we would have screwed it up.

But let me be clear. In my year of dating between my Big Breakup and my husband, I jumped into physical relationships without having “the conversation.” However, I wasn’t serious about those guys and knew there wasn’t a future so I was fully prepared.

Read Betty’s Bests: Top 5 Best Places to Meet the Guy of Your Dreams

You say love is an unlimited resource. Do you think that’s really true for everyone – or have you just been lucky?
They say luck is what happens when opportunity and preparation meet. So while I believe love is an unlimited resource, it doesn’t matter what I believe. What matters is what each individual woman believes. If she thinks there are no good men left, she’s right. If she thinks she’s too fat, too old, or too screwed up to find love, she’s right. But wouldn’t she rather be happy than right?

Being a size 14 in a size zero city like Los Angeles, I thought my chances of finding a man who would love me for who I am were slim to none. I thought I needed to move to a smaller, simpler city. But guess what? Geography wasn’t the problem. I was the problem. And until I changed my beliefs about what was available for me, nothing would ever change. Love didn’t show up because I lost weight or won the lottery. Love showed up because I was open to it, because I believed it was possible, because I got to a place where I knew I deserved it.

Any final words of wisdom for BettyConfidential readers?
Your life isn’t over because Mr. Wrong is gone. And your chance to get love right isn’t behind you. Remember that. And give yourself permission to reinvent your fabulous future! Your quest is just beginning to answer the question, If He’s Not The One, Who is?

Download a free chapter of Lisa’s book here.

Or join Lisa’s 30 Day Woohoo Challenge to becoming a man magnet on Facebook.

Carrie Seim, Betty’s L.A. Correspondent, is a writer and comedian keeping it real in L.A., New York and @ carrieseim.com.


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0 thoughts on “How To Get Over Mr. Wrong and Find Mr. Right

  1. Fern says:

    Wow, that’s some really good advice

  2. mcj3 says:

    that was right on!!

  3. relationshipexpert says:

    The good news is that you don’t need any dating service to find Mr. Right. These basic tips below will help you to find the right guy for you! Here are they:

    * First, you need to decide what kind of guy that you want like what kind of personality he must have, what characteristics he must possess, what value in life that he must have, and how he looks in order to be sexually attractive. It sounds a bit clinical when talking about future husband material, but it’s the truth. If you don’t know what your goal is in anything you do, you seriously damage your chances of getting it.
    * Second, when looking for love, you need to look for the person on the inside, not the person on the outside. In this world today we focus too much on physical appearance. For example, Bill from accounting with the old glasses might be your prince charming if you can get past the shallow tendency to look only at physical appearance. We girls like to have it all, and well, guys aren’t that good at giving it to us, but they mean well, and they try so hard.
    * Lastly, Be Honest and open! Honesty is the number one most important thing in any relationship. And true, if you’re breaking up with a few of the men they might be hurt, but they would rather hurt for a day or two, then stay in a relationship that is based upon false emotions.

  4. ladymj says:

    wow! amazing this advice makes me feel good..

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