Touch him. A sure way to show a guy you’re into him is to find ways to touch him as the two of you are talking. Lean in and grab his arm, playfully smack his stomach or put your hand on his back if you have to scoot behind him. Try letting your hand linger for a second or two longer than necessary, just long enough to really get his attention.
Walk away. Once you’ve made your initial attack it’s important to retreat back to your bunker. You’ve boosted his confidence by hitting on him, but you also have to let him know he’s going to have to work for it—you’re not just going to follow him around all night. By hitting on him, you’ve given him the green light. If he wants you, he’ll come find you later.
Say anything. The truth is, most guys are so relieved that a girl is taking the initiative that they don’t care what you say. If you approach them, they don’t have to approach you, and for that, they’re generally very grateful. So while flirty lines and witty conversation starters will give you bonus points, if all you can think to say is, “I’ve met you before. William, right?” it probably won’t make much difference. (Even if his name is Steve.)
So to recap, here’s the perfect pick-up scenario: You spot a hottie across the bar. You leave your friends, walk up to him and ask what he’s drinking. He tells you “Tanqueray and tonic.” You say: “Oh, feeling fancy tonight, huh?” With a flirty smile on your face, you tell the bartender: “Tanqueray and tonic for the lady, and I’ll have a Guinness.” You hand Mr. Hottie his drink and proceed to make conversation about what he does, where he’s from, Tanqueray vs. Beefeater, and throughout the conversation subtly touch him on the arm, the leg, the chest or wherever you can without being creepy. After ten minutes you walk away. Then, roughly 30 minutes later he’ll come find you and give you his number.
The good news? Even if you walk up to him, lose your nerve, and just say: “Hi,” chances are, you’ll get his digits anyway.
BettyConfidential’s Sexpert Amber Madison is a sex educator and author of Hooking Up: A Girl’s All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality, and Talking Sex With Your Kids, which was released this March.