How to Hit on a Guy

Back by popular demand! You loved this article on how to take charge and make the first move!
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Woman talking to a man in a barTouch him. A sure way to show a guy you’re into him is to find ways to touch him as the two of you are talking. Lean in and grab his arm, playfully smack his stomach or put your hand on his back if you have to scoot behind him. Try letting your hand linger for a second or two longer than necessary, just long enough to really get his attention.

Read Body Language Signs That He’s So Into You

Walk away. Once you’ve made your initial attack it’s important to retreat back to your bunker. You’ve boosted his confidence by hitting on him, but you also have to let him know he’s going to have to work for it—you’re not just going to follow him around all night. By hitting on him, you’ve given him the green light. If he wants you, he’ll come find you later.

Say anything. The truth is, most guys are so relieved that a girl is taking the initiative that they don’t care what you say. If you approach them, they don’t have to approach you, and for that, they’re generally very grateful. So while flirty lines and witty conversation starters will give you bonus points, if all you can think to say is, “I’ve met you before. William, right?” it probably won’t make much difference. (Even if his name is Steve.)

So to recap, here’s the perfect pick-up scenario: You spot a hottie across the bar. You leave your friends, walk up to him and ask what he’s drinking. He tells you “Tanqueray and tonic.” You say: “Oh, feeling fancy tonight, huh?” With a flirty smile on your face, you tell the bartender: “Tanqueray and tonic for the lady, and I’ll have a Guinness.” You hand Mr. Hottie his drink and proceed to make conversation about what he does, where he’s from, Tanqueray vs. Beefeater, and throughout the conversation subtly touch him on the arm, the leg, the chest or wherever you can without being creepy. After ten minutes you walk away. Then, roughly 30 minutes later he’ll come find you and give you his number.

The good news? Even if you walk up to him, lose your nerve, and just say: “Hi,” chances are, you’ll get his digits anyway.

BettyConfidential’s Sexpert Amber Madison is a sex educator and author of Hooking Up: A Girl’s All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality, and Talking Sex With Your Kids, which was released this March.


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0 thoughts on “How to Hit on a Guy

  1. FBNYC says:

    I like the ending pick-up scenario:

  2. kitty says:

    I never make the first move — let them come to me…

  3. khc1114 says:

    I’ve found just making eye contact across a room is a great start…

  4. lpfns says:

    if there was a like button I’d click it

  5. DiamondLove says:

    I’ll look and smile but that’s enough for me. Let him do the work if he’s interested enough.

  6. funtohavearound says:

    in my younger days men would always approach me but if they didn’t i wouldn’t hesitate to go over and start a conversation, ask them to dance or whatever. never got a rejection but it’s hard to get rid of them the rest of the night if you change your mind.

  7. lpfns says:

    funtohavearound – lol, very true

  8. GoodHearted says:

    To find that right guy for you, just let him know what’s true in your heart in terms of everything from your concern for good-hearted people and good-hearted animals to your hatred of evil people. Tell him what you wish for the world. Then ask him to pour his heart out. If you find yourself even more attracted to him in knowing that he cares about good-hearted animals and good-hearted people, I believe you’ll most likely make a successful couple. Pouring your heart out in terms of your love for the good-hearted, will look appealing to him and he’ll be so attracted to you he’ll never let you down. Love for the good-hearted is a bonding glue that keeps people together. It is romantic. It is beautiful. Try it!!!!

  9. Blackula says:

    Too often women are not willing to at least mouth the word “hi”, even from a distance. This is a wonderful article, women should take notes, especially the ones who are saying they can’t find a good man. Make that move, as a man I appreciate it every once in a while. You don’t even have to come up with a stale pick-up line, just say hi.

  10. ThinkAgain says:

    As a guy, don’t insult us. If I meet a woman and she insults or criticizes me, I’m gone. I for one will not put up with that what so ever. It’s all about respect, not control.

  11. ropeum21 says:

    this article is hilarious and so true! i typically have no problem being the initiator. i enjoy bantering with guys, giving them a hard time, flirting, etc. but, when it comes to the gym… i just can’t do it. so, i’ve had this thing for a guy at my gym and cannot bring myself to talk to him. he’s interested (guy is constantly checking me out and making eye contact w/ me). There were a couple of times where I could bet you that he was going to talk to me, but then chickened out. He seems shy. Anyway, bc there is all this etiquette when it comes to the gym, I don’t know how to approach this dude and get the job done myself. Esp, with headphones in the mix! I picture myself talking to someone, and all they see is my mouth moving and cannot hear a damn thing that I’m saying bc they have their music blasting.

  12. ropeum21 says:

    @thinkagain – lighten up a little. it’s not that we are not trying to be insulting. it’s called flirting. we are trying to break the ice with you, because these days guys are too chicken sh*t to approach females.

  13. sam3050 says:

    The bit about it being for the “lady” will most likely get that drink turned down or thrown back at you. Its insulting the one thing guys do not want questioned – their manhood. There are so many other ways to chat up a guy on a positive note.

  14. KittyK says:

    I agree totally with #3… and also with #10. Eye-contact, a small smile and “Hi there” hasn’t failed me yet! ;)

  15. KittyK says:

    I like what Sam30/50 says as well. If you’re looking for male companionship, respect and appreciate him. Let him notice that you’ve noticed him… and then let *him* make the first move.

  16. killerqueen77 says:

    The flirting scenario & the smile n wink even work on an existing relationship. My hubby loves when I flirt with him like we’ve just met or wink & by him a drink from across the bar while I’m chatting with friends..

  17. jakki says:

    If I were young and single, I would definitely try the “what are you drinking?” approach, at least once. I do believe that many guys would be so relieved and flattered that a woman did the approaching. But there ARE pitfalls. With my luck, I would probably hit on a guy who has a girlfriend or wife, and then he would politely decline my advance by slinking away from me and the bar! (uggggghhh) Wow, I guess men go through that torment all the time, huh? (lol)

  18. gigashadowwolf says:

    I am the kind of guy who hates forward women, yet I still think this is very true. Picking up on guys is REALLY easy if you put a tiny bit of effort into it and you are not hideously ugly. Most men never really got complimented or paid attention to. Insults only work to make him feel like you are out of his league, which is a useful tactic, but that ones risky, he may just think you are a bitch and tell his friends that he thinks so. If a girl shows tries to actually talks to us before getting flirtatious, it will usually work. Most guys I know are also sick of having to do all the work in a conversation. We don’t want to hear about gossip, or the girl you hate at work, but simple small talk like the news or something is still a great ice breaker. Most bars restaurants etc. have a t.v. on or at least something interesting set up for that very reason, a conversation piece come up to us and ask so what do you think about… (whatever is on tv) this way you get to know the guy and if you will like him at the same time as breaking the ice. You’d be surprised how many men are just STARVED for this kind of attention from women. We may debate with you even, but as long as you don’t get angry with us we just think it’s hot that you actually have an opinion. If you segue that into flirting 5-10 minutes in (or even longer if you manage to steer it into a great conversation) you will not only have a guy who wants to sleep with you, but one who is legitimately interested in you as a person. The only thing you have to worry about is guys who are taken (and will lie about it, because they think you seem more awesome), major differences in opinion where you were not compatible anyways, if you push flirtatiousness too quickly and they get creeped out. But you can generally feel that happening by his lack of interest.

  19. damac14 says:

    Seriously, this stuff does work girls. As a guy, it seems like we are the ones that are always supposed to approach and start something. For a girl to come and approach us, it shows she has confidence. That is something very valuable, and says many things about you as a person. So the next time you see a good looking fella, what do you got to lose?

  20. beaverhouse says:

    ALL MEN, with the exception of your gay male friends want to have sex with you…it is that simple. Unfortunately, there are very few men that really can respect any woman that acts friendly and most will intrepret your friendliness as an invitation to bed. Then there are alot of guys out there that play the “sensitive type” which is the most dangerous of them all and usually end up to be wife beaters. I am 42 and I have seen it all and believe men have not changed; they still all want your pusshole and will leave you like the dogs they are. I have no advice for you poor girls and my sympathies, perhaps after all the crap you go through you will discover that you have been a lesbian your whole life.

  21. chef says:

    shame dear, you seem to have gotten quite a harsh one. while that may be true in most cases, women seem to think that its the only thing we want. find a man with a good career & a lot of interesting hobbies. female friends are also a good sign as they kind of desensitize us and give us a mouth full if we are not doing right by the girlfriend.

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