How to Survive A Fat Day
Don’t hide – go out and enjoy yourself!
-Melina Gerosa Bellows
Nearly every woman alive has had to endure a Fat Day. Your clothes don’t fit, you feel icky from head to toe, and glimpsing your reflection is enough to send you screaming in horror—from yourself.
I suggest another approach: hospitality. Start by welcoming your Fat Day. That’s right, roll out the red carpet. A Fat Day can sense resistance and become extremely passive-aggressive. Put on comfortable pants. Not fat pants, but rather nice jeans or black trousers, preferably new, that fit you perfectly on the days that you need a bit of extra room. Believe me, this is a good investment.
Then treat your Fat Day to some aromatherapy. Fat Days LOVE yummy smells. A good place to do this is the shower or the bath. Splurge on luxurious bath products to prove that although your Fat Day is expensive, it does deserve a treat.
Next on the agenda is one thing that you and your Fat Day must do: move. Walk, go to the gym, do yoga, whatever. The important thing is to expel the stale air out of your body to make room for fresh, oxygenated air that will make you feel lighter and more energetic.
Another thing about Fat Days: They require great hair. Spend the time you need washing and styling. Don’t quit until your hair looks squeaky clean, glossy and sports that salon bounce. Note: It is perfectly acceptable, preferable in fact, to treat yourself to a blowout on a Fat Day.
Great hair needs to go out and be seen, so call a friend and make plans. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy; a latte at Starbucks counts as an outing. But this encounter must be with a person that you really enjoy. Don’t waste good hair on someone who just blabs on and on about themselves. (Ever notice how hungry you get spending time with Energy Vampires?)
There’s one thing you and your Fat Day must do before meeting your friend: Do something nice for someone else. It can be as one-click as making a donation to a favorite charity or as elaborate as bringing balloons to your local children’s hospital. The point is that it’s for someone else, not you.
Finally, check in with your Fat Day. Ask it why it has come to visit you. Is it a reminder to slow down and pay attention to what you are putting into your body? Is it a wakeup call to simplify? Take better care of your body? Put your life on a diet and strip out some of the less healthy activities? Chances are you invited your Fat Day whether you realize it or not. Also ask it how long it plans to stay. If you’ve done your job as host, it may be up and out pretty quickly.