ASK REAL GUYS
What’s the Holdup?
Dear ASK REAL GUYS: As much as I hate to admit it, I’m still in love with my ex boyfriend. I broke things off in the beginning of this year because I hated the person I was turning into with him, plus we were never there for each other. I learned a lot and have matured since then, but I think he has remained the same. My question is: How do I express to him what I want for us and for the future? He says he still loves me, and wants to be with me, but I have yet to see anything come of that. Actions speak louder than words, so where are his actions?
Steven: It sounds like the mind reading is not going well. So be up front, tell him you want to be with him and what you want him to do. He can’t give you what you want unless, he knows what you want. If you are learning and growing and he is not, make requests of him to take action.
Maybe you can read some self help books together or take a seminar together. On a side note, I do wonder what you meant by saying you “hate the person” you became when you were with him. Some people bring out the worst in us, some bring out the best. This might be a good topic of discussion with him – not to blame him but so you can express what you are learning about yourself. Maybe that might inspire him to examine himself too so you can grow together, if that is what is best for you.