Waiting and Waiting

A woman seeks advice about whether or not her boyfriend is thinking of dumping her.


How Long Do I Have to Wait?

Dear ASK REAL GUYS: My boyfriend will be having surgery soon for growths that will be removed and biopsied, and he is also dealing with glaucoma. On top of all of this he is having problems at work. He hadn’t called me in a week, and when I called him he said he couldn’t see me for a few weeks and that he needed time to get everything straightened out, and that he was busy with doctor appointments. I responded with “So I should just wait?” and he said yes, since he wants to get everything worked out. He stopped calling regularly two weeks ago when he first went to the doctor.

Is this normal? He is supposed to be moving in after the holidays. I don’t know if he’s trying to dump me or if he just needs space. Do I still e-mail and text him as I always have or leave him be?

Avery: Illness is a very difficult course to navigate. If your boyfriend has been up front and honest with you throughout your relationship, and it’s been serious enough to move forward with living together, then I’d say just give him a bit of time. Battling a serious illness can be a very scary time for anyone, and his reactions may be because of that. He also may not want you to see him weak or afraid as he may think that you could get spooked and end it with him. Give him some time and let him know that you are there for him 10o percent, and that you care about him no matter what state of health he’s in.

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