The Dating Game
How to flirt like a geek – and find tech-licious love!
Kiss My Facebook
How do I Facebook flirt with thee? Let me count the ways.
1. Poke him all night long. Or Superpoke him if he’s extra special. Okay, okay, I don’t know anyone who actually uses the “poke” function on Facebook ever anymore, but it’s got innuendo in spades and might be the kind of immature flirting you need to get the ball rolling. So to speak.
2. Upload profile pictures of yourself wearing something spectacular (glam points). Or wearing nothing much at all (sexy points). Or baking cupcakes (domestic points). Or changing a tire (life skills points). Or with another gorgeous guy (jealous points). Or volunteering (humanitarian points). Or wearing your new glasses (smart points). Or hiking (adventure points). Or hiking naked while rescuing a baby lion and changing the oil on your hybrid vehicle. (Points, points, points!) Men are visual creatures. And on Facebook, you have total control of how they see you. You have all the photo power – go ahead and abuse it.
3. Send him a note asking if he’s interested in upgrading from being Facebook friends to being Facebook friends with benefits. Watch how fast he wall-posts his way into your arms.
4. Invite him to an “event” late night at your house. He’ll be delighted when he discovers he’s the only guest on the list. Is that a change in relationship status I see in your future?
Send off short (up to 140 characters) tweets about your crush and watch his heart go all aTwitter. You can send or receive notes via the Twitter site, via text, via RSS or via the Tweetie application on your iPhone.
But beware – your missives will be sent to everyone following you on Twitter (unless you change your settings), so tweet about your sweetie with twaution.
Sexting and Photo Foreplay
Brevity is the soul of wit. It’s also the soul of sexting.
There’s something about the necessarily sparse nature of texts that sweeps away formal courting and permits getting down and dirty on the quick. At its best, texting is the haiku of wooing. At its worst, it’s the dirty old limerick. Choose your poison carefully.
1) I’ve seen many a relationship peek far too early when some lady (not naming names…Carrie) lets herself get carried away with sexting after no only a few dates. I hate to be old fashioned, but men often don’t buy the Facebook when they’re getting the sext for free. Or something like that.
2) As for photo flirting via text – DON’T DO IT! Think of 30 Rock‘s Liz Lemon and the “adult photo” on her phone. Or think of all my male friends and how often they show off the “adult photos” girls have sent them under presumed confidentiality. (Ha. There is no confidentiality when it comes to men and photos of naked ladies. This is a law of nature, like the force of gravity and the deliciousness of Cheetos.)
Take a Peek
My cherry red Peek arrived in the mail yesterday, looking as skinny and stylish as Blake Lively in a pencil skirt.
The new e-mail-only mobile device looked pretty and promised kilobytes of flirting fun – but I sneered at it all the same. I knew what I was in for. Hours of mastering a complicated user guide, days of deciphering an operating system that should come bundled with a Rosetta Stone, weeks of random violence against anything with a battery.
So imagine my surprise when, within two minutes of opening the box, I was sending inappropriate e-mails to co-workers, receiving offers for free Viagra and eflirting with panache.
Peek is the simplest mobile gadget you’ve ever glanced at. It took me longer to pry it out of its plastic packaging than to flip through its (blessedly short) directions and get on with my juvenile online flirtations important professional e-mails.
It’s too bad you can’t use Peek to make calls or check for Facebook relationship updates breaking news, but there’s something about its sleek austerity that’s appealing. And fitting of our threadbare times: Peek retails for $79.95 (Target stores, Amazon.com, Costco.com and GetPeek.com). The real bargain is its $19.95/month service plan, which gets you unlimited, nationwide e-mail service without a contract.
At that price, Peek is designed for anyone who doesn’t need – or want – the more sophisticated BlackBerry or iPhone and their correspondingly complicated service contracts. It seems perfect for a mom who’s a little tech shy and doesn’t mind hauling around a phone AND a Peek. (Why not, when she’s already hauling hockey pucks, used Kleenex, sandwiches, etc. in her handbag?)
Or for someone (again, not naming names) who needs a dedicated eFlirting machine.