I Knew He was Mr. Wrong and I Married Him Anyway

Make sure you don't join the hoards of smart women who walk down the aisle with Mr. Wrong.
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I Knew He was Mr. Wrong and I Married Him Anyway

Smart women walk down the aisle with Mr. Wrong every single day. Make sure you’re not one of them.

-Jennifer Gauvain, MSW, LCSW

A distressed bride and groom on top of a wedding cake

Why do smart women settle for Mr. Wrong? Let’s take a look at one of my clients. Nina is a beautiful brunette with a magnetic personality. She has a large circle of friends and a fabulous social life. Why did this dynamic twenty-something give it all up to marry a compulsive liar?

“I was twenty-eight years old and all of my friends were getting married. We had dated for three years and I didn’t want to waste all the time invested in the relationship. I also ignored the fact that he lied about everything. He lied about his college degree (he never graduated.) His resume was full of lies (he exaggerated and flat-out made things up.) He also lied to the police and said his car was stolen. (He arranged the theft himself for the insurance money.)”

Why didn’t she pay attention? “I convinced myself that it would all work out because he was from a nice family and we had similar backgrounds. I also believed that marriage was the commitment he needed to grow up and be a better person.”

As you might guess, he didn’t change. “We went to his company’s Christmas party six months after our wedding. One of the guys he worked with pulled me aside and said, ‘You seem like a nice lady, but I think you should know that he’s sleeping with his secretary.'” Nina was humiliated. “Why was I surprised by this? He showed me exactly who he was all along. I ignored the red flags of dishonesty and infidelity because I was so determined to get married.” Nina is not alone. Women walk down the aisle with Mr. Wrong every single day.

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6 thoughts on “I Knew He was Mr. Wrong and I Married Him Anyway

  1. I have read this book and can’t believe how true it really is!!! Since I am young, it is nice to have a guide on what to look for while also having some encouraging stories from others who have had these experiences. A must read!!!

  2. Ugh… I married Mr. VERY Wrong, and sometimes you just don’t recognize the flags when you are young. In retrospect, though, they are blaring out there!!

    3 months after my wedding day, I found out that my husband had been sleeping with a co-worker for over 5 months (at the job I helped get for him)!

    He was such a liar when we were trying to “work it out” – he even bold-faced lied to our couple’s therapist! I finally wised up and kicked him out after 6 weeks.

    It was the most humiliating experience of my life, but I wouldn’t take it back. I’m stronger and wiser today because of it.

  3. ha i dont know if its because people are young. just an excuse to me. im 18 and recognized what was happening, also to my girlfriend but of course she didnt listen and still refuses to listen. she is 22 now… still in the relationship.

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