I Want You To Dump Me

Simcha Whitehill of The Frisky wants non-commital men to step up to the plate.


I Want You To Dump Me

Time to put the big boy shoes on, guys

-Simcha Whitehill, TheFrisky.com

An unhappy coupleDear Gentlemen,

When you know you don’t want to see me anymore, I need you to do me a favor: Be an adult and dump me. Don’t text me pretending that you want to reschedule when you flake out on our plans, don’t promise you’ll call me later if you’re not gonna, don’t ask for my number if you have no intention of ever calling me, etc. If I wanted to date someone who mastered the disappearing act, I’d have schtooped a magician. But I didn’t, I dated/boyfriended/made out with/dry humped on the dance floor/flirted with you. Now, I need you to breakup with me.

And I’m totally fine with us not working out. I just don’t want to be left with false hope and then no explanation. ‘

1) It makes me feel like an idiot for ever having liked you.

2) Are you trying to make peeps regret thinking you are a hot piece of ass?

3) Do you really want me to have to analyze your inner psyche with my girlfriends?

Listen, I know there are a lot of reasons you may not want to be my man. It’s cool, I’m not perfect. I can accept that you took me for a test drive and you now know I’m not what you’re looking for. Heck, sometimes, I’m not feelin’ it too. No harm, no foul. After all, it takes two to, you know … If you want to be nice, just tell me where you stand. Don’t leave me wondering, “Why hasn’t he called?” and “What did I do wrong?”

To illustrate my point, I will dive into my own slut files and show you how, even in the most fleeting moments, this consideration counts. At two separate birthday parties I met some of my pals’ sexy dude friends. Man #1 and I kissed all night long until the end of the party. He asked for my number, had our mutual friend text me to call him because he lost it, and then texted me saying it was nice to meet me almost a week after the fact and he would be in touch to make plans. Yet still, after all that, he never asked to see me again. Why did he go through that ridiculous amount of trouble and drag our mutual friend into this if he had no intention of seeing me again? I had nearly forgotten all about him when he texted me back in, strung me along, and then pulled the fade out. I feel like twice as rejected now.

Man #2 and I met under similar circumstances; we flirted and made out at a mutual buddy’s b-day party. But when it came time to say goodbye, he didn’t even try to get my number. He said he’d leave seeing me again up to fate and then told me, “That’s how I roll.” OK, so I puked a little in my own mouth upon hearing a line like that, but at least I know I don’t have to give him a second thought. It’s a relief! He wasn’t interested and he let me know upfront. He obviously knows how to play the game. Love ‘em and let them know when you’re gonna leave ‘em. For that, I give him two thumbs up.

So, my male counterparts, I vow to always answer your phone call, if only to tell you I’m not interested. I will not agree to a second date in person and then ignore your plan-making e-mail. I will not make you think you have a chance at screwing me if I only want a free drink. But I need you to give me the same respect. Any boy who watched “G.I. Joe” knows that knowing is half the battle. Don’t leave me to feed on my own insecurities as to why you don’t want to see me again. Rip off that band-aid, tough guy, because the slow peel is worse. Or, in the immortal words of Diana Ross‘ “You Keep Me Hangin’ On,” “Let me get over you, the way you’ve gotten over me. Set me free, why don’t cha babe.” Especially if you’ve already had sexy time with me, you know that I’m not fragile, I can take it. So please, I’m begging you, dump me.

With Love,

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9 thoughts on “I Want You To Dump Me

  1. Hahaha, great article. Agreed, it’s better for them to let you know early on that it’s not going to work than to let you get emotionally attached.

  2. I think that this is by far one of the best things I have read in a long time. Its so true. Men tend to lead us on. And then instead of just letting us go, They just dont call back, Or play these dam games. So its a great read. I know I am honest to a fault. And I have always been. I tend to come off cold to men and when I was younger all of my ex’s said im worse then a man. Because I would just stop talking to them, Or I would just do what I wanted and did not think twice. So I learned over time, I broke so many hearts. And I feel bad. So I have changed who I am. And I am glad. I had to learn, that Loving my self would let me Really love someone else. So thats what I had to do. Was love who I am. And its been a rocky road of change. But I think after being with my Husband for now 13 years its been wonderful to change.
    Patty M
    Now if only men, Could do the same for us lol

  3. Ouch!! Reminded!!

    When it comes to these.. I’d give my number.. But I’d never hope.. And if they did call great.. If not it didn’t bug me.. I’m the girl.. If they can’t dump me up front.. And I wasn’t interested.. I’ll dump them up front instead.. “Sorry this isn’t working out..” Simple as that.. And if I am interested.. I’d make the first move to call them.. No harm in finding out the truth for myself.. Saves me the trouble.. And the constant asking of why..

  4. The fact that you’d prefer the guy that made you puke a little in your mouth to the guy that put forth a bit of effort to contact you again is just disgusting to me. Have you considered for a second what the timid-guy might have been going through prior to contacting you? Maybe he was nervous. But to give the leave-it-up-to-fate guy credit simply because “He obviously knows how to play the game”, well, you deserve what you get. Two thumbs up? Give me a frickin’ break.

  5. My whole life i ve never had a stable relationship all men come get want they and go.As a matter of fact i saw myself as tool for all men.I don’t no its like i was just not loveable no matter how i give my all to them they end up living me with nothing but a broken heart.All these bad relationship i had experienced led to a psychological breake down thank my star that i got through that.Finding a man was never hard for me they just all wanted sex with me and once they get it, they all live but for the first time i found one that was willing to stay.I had never felt whole in my entire life but with him i kept floating in the sky.Yes he was married and unhappy he only married his wife cos they had a child together.One thing was for sure, as he made me whole i also did to him.We where in love as much as i cud tell he was willing to divorce his wife to be with me but she wudn’t let go like she owned his life and wanted him to me miserable 4 life.I don’t no but something made her too dangerous for him to get out of the marriage.For the first time in my life i found a man that was not willing to go anyway he was willing to fight for our love ven if it kills him.2 year passed and she wouldn’t let go so i just felt i should do something about it.I seeked advice and help if they could i even checked the internet for solution which ended up being a waste of time.However, i saw articles or rather comments of a lot of persons who used spell casting to fix their relationship and some it get those who they loved to see how much they loved them.And they all kept referring to a particular spell caster mutton osun.At first i just ignored it but my lover came across those article also.After we talked about it we decided to contact him and asked if he cud in any way help us.He just and only asked us to provide some really weird materials that just thinking if it made me scared not like they were harmful its just that i was not used to this things.We ie me and my lover decided that we sould asked him to get them with what we sent to him ie, money.We asked him to cast a spell to make ,y lover wife set him free and he did as we asked and it walked i know cos 12 hours before he said he has completed the spell, she was still very much not going to sign any divorce paper but after the spell was completed all we did was give her the paper and without a fight he signed it.I know its hard to belief only the people close to us know how true this is.lets just say you want to contact use this email address godsofosunx@rockemail.com

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