ASK REAL GUYS
I’m Getting Suspicious
Dear ASK REAL GUYS: I have been with this guy for nine months now. I understand that in a relationship there are times when you get tired of someone. The first months were great; he wanted to be with me every day. When he did stuff with his friends, he always wanted me around. We have started fighting over little stuff now. Like when he gets off work, he won’t call me and he will go off with his friends and then call me, telling me he is staying at his friend’s house.
I just got my own place and he was supposed to move in. But since we have been fighting, he decided to get an apartment. He said we will see how our relationship goes in a month and that he would move in with me if it went better. But it seems like he is the one trying to mess up the relationship. I don’t know what to do. I have thought about just giving up and moving on. I also think he is cheating, because when he hangs out with his friends I leave him alone and let them hang out. But when I hang with my friends he is always asking who I’m with or what guy I’m with.
I always thought that the person who is accusing is the one doing it. Please tell me what is going on.
Matt: Although it is not certain, there is a possibility that he is seeing someone else. Based on what you have said, there seems to be a number of consistencies that suggest there may be someone else around. Not being available via phone, staying at his friend’s place frequently, not moving in with you as planned, and consistent increased jealousy/insecurity definitely raise flags for me. If he can’t make you feel comfortable and secure that there is no one else around, based on these facts, you may have to move on.