Is He Totally Over Me?

A woman seeks advice about whether or not her ex is truly over her.


Is He Over Me?

Dear ASK REAL GUYS: I started hanging out with this guy I grew up with who had just gotten out of a serious relationship. During this time my boyfriend and I were on the outs, so I decided to leave him for the other guy. When we started dating he told me that his ex-girlfriend was trying to get back with him, but he assured me that he wasn’t interested. I repeatedly asked him to be upfront with me, to let me know if he truly did have feelings for her. Though he kept denying any attraction, he eventually chose her over me.

Our friendship is still intact but I want more, as I felt a very strong connection there. Does he no longer care about me?

Steven: It is over, at least over for now. Since he has made his choice to go back with her, my suggestion is for you to back off and treat their relationship with the same respect that you would want her to do if he had chosen to be with you over her. Don’t let him play with your feelings and dangle hope under the guise of friendship while he is being with her. By backing off, it will also give him a chance to gain perspective and possibly really evaluate whether he wants to lose you. Remember what goes around comes around in life. So treat people well and generally it will pay off in dividends. If not with him then with someone who deserves you.

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