Like Night and Day

A woman asks why men tend to act like something they are not.


Night and Day

Dear ASK REAL GUYS: I want to know why guys act like something they are not. I get they’re trying to impress me, but the truth always comes out, and what they wanted me to perceive them as and who they really are tend to be polar opposites. What’s the deal with the lying?

Avery: Many guys try to project the image of who they want to be, or who they think they are. And you are exactly right: The truth eventually comes out. My suggestion is to try to go out with guys who, when you meet them, are understated. Or – if you hear about their accomplishments from OTHERS – then they may have the qualities that you like.

Guys know that women like guys who are accomplished, have success, etc., so naturally that’s the image that they’re going to want to show, but if it’s “all show and no go,” they are frauds and you are going to find out soon enough. Some guys think that they can pull off a ton of BS and will never get called out on it and maybe they’ve met women who are just like that and just care about image and not substance. Obviously this is not you, so I’d recommend looking for the understated, low-key guys. Often they are the ones with the most substance and are the real thing.

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