Madonna's Rules for Visitation

Guy must follow Madonna's 12 rules in order to have visitation with his boys

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Play by Madonna’s Rules or Else…

Guy must follow the Material Girl’s 12 rules for visitation with sons

-Julie Ryan Evans

Before Guy Ritchie was allowed visitation with his sons Rocco and David, his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Madonna, laid down the law … 12 of them to be exact.

According to the Daily Mail, she laid out the rigid set of rules (supposedly e-mailed by an assistant) that he had to agree to follow before he spent any time with them:

  1. Under no circumstances should they read newspapers, magazines or be allowed to watch TV or DVDs.
  2. They must adhere at all times to a macrobiotic, vegetarian, organic diet with no processed or refined food
  3. All water they drink, even when it is to dilute organic juice, should be Kabbalah water (did you even know they made such a thing?)
  4. They should wear the clothes Madonna has sent with them on the flight. If they need to be bought anything, they should not contain man-made fibers.
  5. Their hands should be regularly cleaned with disinfectant spray if they are in public places.
  6. They should not be bought toys which are spiritually or ethically sound (are Tinker Toys ethically sound? What about the Wii?)
  7. Guy should not discuss the separation with them.
  8. Madonna should have phone contact with the boys as much as three or four times a day at times set by her.
  9. The boys should not be introduced to Guy’s new friends, especially any new female friends he has attracted since the separation. (Can she really demand that?)
  10. Madonna has encouraged the access to give him time with the boys, rather than his parents spending large amounts of time with the boys. (in-law issues, Madge?)
  11. The boys should not be photographed while with Guy. It’s his responsibility to organize security so that does not happen. (That should be easy-ha!)
  12. At bedtime, Guy should read David the English Rose books Madonna wrote.

Is this really the same woman who sang “Papa Don’t PREACH?” …

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