Reunited ‘Cos I Feel So Bad
Is it guilt or residual love that brings people back together in times of tragedy?
Last week’s big celebrity tragedy story (besides the dreary Emmy Awards) was the fatal plane crash that killed four people and critically injured DJ AM (Adam Goldstein) and drummer Travis Barker.
Both survivors were single at the time of the crash, yet within hours, Barker’s ex-wife, Shanna Moakler and Goldstein’s actress ex-girlfriend, Mandy Moore, jetted down south to comfort their respective exes.
It brought me back to when I found out my most long-term boyfriend had been diagnosed with cancer. He’d dumped me the year before and I’m not generally the kind of woman who stays friends with her exes, but hearing that someone I’d spent six years of my life with had brain cancer, made me wonder if I should reverse that position. I certainly wasn’t over our breakup, but I knew that a) he was probably going to die; and b) though I wasn’t ready to forgive him, perhaps I should just fake it a little to make things easier on him.
Maybe I was a softy because I’d watched my parents reunite after my mom got sick with cancer. They’d separated just before her diagnosis-she’d moved out and was living in Manhattan, leaving dad behind in Jersey. They weren’t getting along very well-obviously-but the cancer seemed to erase all bad feelings between them. He moved in and took care of her until she died a couple months later.
With that in mind, I went to see Lou at the hospital. (Who would ever guessed that Miss Mandy Moore and I would have something in common!) Lou and I made our peace with each other. I felt like it was the right thing to do.
Though I must say, it felt slightly less right a few months later at his memorial service as I listened to his new girlfriend announce to all assembled that their relationship had “overlapped” his and mine.