Week in Review
Mean Betty on the Cyrus Sisters, Heidi Montag, the Octomoms and More
The highlights from the celebrity world this week!
Our Young Role Models
Tsk tsk, all that fuss about nothing. Pets, did you catch any of the hoopla surrounding sweet little Miley Cyrus’ appearance at the Teen Choice Awards? Really, dears, tell Mean Betty … why must we all be so uptight all the time? A teenager in hot pants and patent leather boots, gyrating merrily around a stripper pole, in front of an audience of mostly children … what’s the big deal? These must be the same puritans who got all fussed about Miley’s infamous Vanity Fair shoot. For heaven’s sake, it’s not as if she was COMPLETELY nude!
Also, how lovely to see her little sister (Noah Cyrus, age … 9!) is following in her illustrious footsteps!
Mean Betty looks forward to a “Sassy Sister” Playboy cover in the not-so-distant future. Won’t that be fun!
Heidi Montag Wants More Plastic Surgery
“I plan to get a few more upgrades … I’m sure as I get older I’ll need some touch-ups.”
Well of course my dear! Don’t stop now! After all, when one’s sole skill appears to be being photographed scantily clad, one doesn’t want to leave things to nature, does one?
Hmm … perhaps Mean Betty might suggest some “upgrades”? Mean Betty has always thought Heidi would look fetching with a real bunny tail! Wouldn’t that be apropos, darlings, especially considering Heidi’s astonishing revelations about her sex life with Spencer? “… It’s something I look forward to every minute of the day,” quoth she. Every minute! Heidi also confesses to having had 20 or 30 orgasms in one day. Marvelous! Maybe she could go for some permanent bunny ears and teeth, too … what do you say?
So Long, Paula Abdul!
Mean Betty wasn’t buying it at first, but maybe Paula really is leaving American Idol. If the New York Times says so …
Um, Paula, dear, you do understand that you wouldn’t HAVE a career anymore if it weren’t for American Idol, right? Just checking.
However, all is not completely lost for our favorite little lunatic. Mean Betty hears Australian Idol wants her. Seems like a fair trade to Mean Betty! We send the Aussies Paula Abdul; they give us Hugh Jackman!
Wonder who we could get for Lindsay Lohan?