Mean Betty’s Open Letter to Taylor Swift
10 reasons why Taylor Swift should stay away from John Mayer.
Dear sweet little Taylor Swift,
It is with growing distress that Mean Betty keeps reading about you and John Mayer being spotted together. Ever since he appeared on Ellen with that ridiculous reindeer sweater and talked about how fun it was to work with you, Mean Betty has been suspicious. When you and Taylor what’s-his-name (the guy with the abs from Twilight?) broke up, Mean Betty got even more worried. And now HollywoodLife.com is proclaiming that they’ve spotted you together twice in one week.
Why, it’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion! Don’t do it Taylor! Noooooooooo!!
Forgive. Mean Betty got a little carried away. But please Taylor, listen to Mean Betty. Mean Betty knows best.
Here are 10 reasons to stay away from John Mayer at all costs:
1. The man is a self-professed “A–hole.” Listen, dear, a little life lesson: When a man says he’s an a–hole, believe him.
2. You run the risk as heretofore being referred to as John Mayer’s “Joshua Tree of Vaginas.” He claims in his latest Rolling Stone interview that that is indeed what he’s searching for. Tell Mean Betty … is that really how you want to be known? No.
3. All of Twitter will know the intimate details of your “love” life. John Mayer is a man with no filter and nearly 3 million followers (2,986,573 at last count). That’s not a good combination.
In fact – you can just look to his Twitter account for further proof of his unworthiness– he Tweeted on January 22: “I’m a douchebag, if you could empty one and fill it with Jack Daniels, Smarties and daydreams.” (See life lesson in point #1.)
4. This is the man who broke up with Jennifer Aniston and then indulged in a public relationship postmortem to the paparazzi. Please Taylor, forgive Mean Betty, but it’s called TOUGH LOVE: You must now watch this … and imagine he’s talking about YOU instead of Jen: