Mean Betty on Peter King (Who?), Morgan Freeman, Lindsay Lohan and More

Mean Betty on Peter King (Who?), Morgan Freeman, Lindsay Lohan and More

Week in Review

Mean Betty on Peter King (Who?), Morgan Freeman, Lindsay Lohan and Gwyneth Paltrow

Highlights of the week!

-Mean Betty

How To Become Famous in 30 Minutes or Less

Peter King Michael Jackson

Mean Betty would like to send out a special salute to N.Y. Congressman Peter King, the heretofore totally obscure and unknown politician who’s been on a media blitz blasting the … media … for the incessant coverage of Michael Jackson. Why the salute, you say, for someone viciously attacking a recently deceased man whose family – and children – are still in mourning, and before he was even laid to rest? Well, have YOU ever heard of Peter King before? Of course not! But you certainly have now! He may be a small potatoes politician, but he’s cottoned on in a masterful way to the technique of insta-relevance! The secret formula? Take the biggest pop culture story of the minute, add one polarizing statement (or in King’s case, a super 2.0-savvy YouTube video!), and … voila! Instant publicity boost! (See also: Sarah Palin and Miss California; Dr. Phil and Octomom.)

Say It Ain’t So, Grandpa!

Morgan Freeman step granddaughter

As you all know, Mean Betty just HATES to spread nasty rumors … but … Mean Betty has been patiently waiting for a statement from 72-year-old Morgan Freeman denying his (alleged?) affair with his 27-year-old step-granddaughter. PATIENTLY. But, so far … nada. And now the National Enquirer (which, let’s face it, broke the story of John Edwards’ little “indiscretion”) tells us wedding bells are in store for the lovebirds? Mean Betty shudders to think. On the other hand – shades of incest don’t seem to have hurt Woody Allen’s career. Hmm.

Leave Lindsay A-Lohan!

Now, you all know, as much as Mean Betty hates to spread rumors, Mean Betty also hates to make snap judgments about our dear celebrities … HOWEVER. Mean Betty is truly beginning to have a niggling suspicion (and please, my dears, tell Mean Betty if she is out of line here!) … but just the teeniest little notion that Lindsay Lohan may be … something of an … exhibitionist?

Lindsay Lohan Michael Jackson

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Twitter

What do you think, pets? Is Mean Betty going overboard here?

(Or could it just be that LiLo – her acting career a distant memory – is pondering next steps? Perhaps a career change? Maybe as an artists’ model, Playboy centerfold, hostess at a nudist colony … )

Gwyneth Paltrow and Her Colon

Gwyneth PaltrowOh darling Gwynnie … you are just so, so odd.

The Goopier-than-thou actress reveals in her latest newsletter (and tell Mean Betty, pets, does anyone subscribe to Goop for other than pure malicious entertainment?):

“I am finishing the amazing three-week-long ‘Clean’ detox program. I feel pure and happy and much lighter”

What is it with her infatuation with “detoxing”? What is it that she DOES that requires such rigorous purging? Why IS it that we need to be on such intimate terms with her colon? Inquiring minds want to know!

“I dropped the extra pounds that I had gained during a majorly [sic] fun and delicious ‘relax and enjoy life phase’ about a month ago.”

Heaven forbid – “relax and enjoy life”?! No! What is there to enjoy about your life, Gwynnie? Your zillions of dollars? Your stardom? Your rock-star husband and beautiful, healthy children? God no! Purge, Gwynnie, you fattie! Purge!

A Parting Thought

Speaking of Michael Jackson, Mean Betty was just talking with Grandma Mean Betty who said, “Just like Elvis, honey, it was one hell of a good career move!”

Until we meet again, my pets!


Mean Betty

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0 thoughts on “Mean Betty on Peter King (Who?), Morgan Freeman, Lindsay Lohan and More

  1. ooo Mean Betty I love your sarcasm haha

    I think Lindsay Lohan may actually have a better career as a Playmate. Though I don’t think she’s hot enough to become a regular hahaha. Maybe Hustler’s Magazine or something

  2. Peter King is a frequent guest on nationally syndicated radio shows. I’d heard of him before he commented on Michael Jackson, although I don’t live in New York.

  3. I love mean betty so much! And I think Grandma Mean Betty needs to make a guest appearance! Hahha. Cracked up about Gwynnie. She sure is a fat ass!

  4. “… his 27-year-old step-granddaughter …” is NOT incestuously related to Morgan Freeman. Her parents and their parents are not related to Morgan Freeman. The only relationship is one of law, not blood. Give them a break. Morgan Freeman isn’t answerable to you, Betty, so it’s no crime if he doesn’t respond to you. We’d like to know, but it isn’t our business, you know?
    Mia Farrow’s adopted daughter was not related to Woody Allen even by marriage.

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