Mean Betty on Barack, Michelle, and the Presidential Rear End

A new book has surprising insights into the Obama Marriage. Mean Betty reports.

Mean Betty on Barack, Michelle, and the Presidential Rear End

A new book has surprising insights into the Obama Marriage. Mean Betty reports.

-Mean Betty

Barack and Michelle Obama

Mean Betty’s interest in politics was perked just a wee bit when she read a juicy little tidbit from a new book, Barack and Michelle: Portrait of American Marriage. According to author Chris Andersen, what upset our future President on the campaign trail was not John McCain or even popular–for-a-megasecond, Sarah Palin. The only thing that really made him lose his famous cool was when so many women “pushed their bodies up against his, slipped phone numbers into his pockets” and promised they wanted to give him more than their votes. Shocking, no?

“On more than one occasion,” Anderson writes, “Barack tried not to look startled when some random woman … would grasp him firmly by the derriere and sometimes try to hold on.”

Goodness! Mean Betty doesn’t entirely blame them, but really ladies one must draw the line at actually holding on for dear life, hmmm?

After an appearance in Peoria, Illinois, that hotbed of sexually predatory females, Obama slid into the back of his SUV and allegedly said, “I wish they would stop grabbing my ass.” Poor baby. But, after all, Mr. President, you were signing up for a life of public … service.

Now Mean Betty was amused by this revelation (weren’t you?) but Michelle, so we are told, was not. And who, dare say, could blame her? After all, the comparisons to Jackie O. must ring a little nervously in her ears at times like these. (Darlings if you don’t know what I’m talking about, try Googling “JFK and Marilyn Monroe.”)

How did Lady O. retaliate? In the age of tradition of wifies-scorned: By giving hubby the silent treatment and complaining to her pals that all this fawning was increasing Obama’s already oversized ego. Now Mean Betty has to agree that any man who is now on TV more hours a week than Oprah is not and never was confidence-deficient.

Obama Mom Jeans

Come to think of it … this might explain the mysterious Obama Mom Jeans Incident! No fear of groping whilst wearing those. Sigh. Something tells Mean Betty the Bushes never had this problem…

However, Mean Betty is also happy to report that winning the Presidency has apparently solved the let’s-goose-Barack-and-piss-off -Michelle predicament. After all, there is the Secret Service to protect our president…and especially to cover his ass.

xo,

Mean Betty

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