Mean Betty on John Mayer and Robert Pattinson
If John pursues a career in porn, he can rest assured Rob Pat is here to take over as Big Mouth of the Year.
It seems John Mayer’s dreams may be coming true! In the wake of the chaos caused by his recent Playboy interview that was astonishingly tacky even for the King of Tactlessness John Mayer, the bobble-headed crooner has received a very special job offer … from none other than Vivid Entertainment (famous for trying to get Nadya Suleman to star in a porn – thanks goodness they have not, as yet, been successful).
Yes, in one of his episodes of filterless verbal spewing, Mr. Mayer dear mentioned that his “dream” is to write pornography. Isn’t that sweet? We must all have dreams to lift us up. Apparently his fairy godmother was listening, because Vivid sent John a letter offering him the esteemed role of not only writing but directing one of their XXX movies!
“We believe your incredible talent and passion, which have touched so many, can translate into a highly erotic adult film,” says the letter, which TMZ has so kindly shared with us.
John has “touched many,” that’s for sure.
The letter continues: “Your understanding of the dynamics of relationships would undoubtedly appeal to both men and women.”
The dynamics of relationships! Too true! Who doesn’t want to watch a movie written and directed by a man whose finest compliment is that he can “pitch a tent” in your vagina?
Now, Mean Betty must say, there are a couple of other jobs that might be better for John, as he attempts to turn over a new leaf and just not say things about vaginas being Joshua Trees and a certain part of his own anatomy being a white supremacist … like, for example how about monk? In a far away monastery? Or mime?
There is one avenue closed to him – apparently Oprah, she of the Couch of Absolution, won’t let John on her show. PopEater reports this is because Oprah and Jennifer Aniston are such great pals. Too bad, John – a nice sob with Oprah would do your rep a world of good!
No matter what, John needn’t worry that if he shuts up that the world will be left wanting for a figurehead of drivel to shock and awe us … because it looks like dirty-haired Robert Pattinson is all set to take the mantle over!