Mean Betty on Sex Tapes
Blackmail via sex tape? Mean Betty laughs at the very idea
Oh, those silly Ruskies! Mean Betty hears they were trying to frame an American diplomat by posting this “sex tape” of him on a Russian internet site.
The diplomat in question is Kyle Hatcher, a 34-year-old married redheaded State Department cutie who swears the tape is a “smear.” American officials claim the Russian intelligence agency that replaced the KGB, now called the Federal Security Service (FSB), produced the video in an attempt to either recruit or discredit our dear Kyle. Just like a high-tech, low-class version of a John LeCarre novel! Kyle says he is going to keep working at the embassy. No word on what his wife says …
Well, Mean Betty, really can’t judge how competent the nasty new FSB is – as spies go – but take it from her, pets, when it comes to putting together a sex tape she knows they definitely suck.
During the tape — which seems almost as long as War and Peace and not half as exciting – one hears Kyle trying and trying and trying to get a date while some cheesy Musak plays. Then there is the hook-up, under cover of darkness. Now, Mean Betty asks you, what kind of sex tape is that?
But more to the point, those poor Russkie darlings must have been plastered on their vodka if they thought a sex tape could embarrass one of our diplomats? Don’t they know that nowadays back in the U.S. of A. having a sex tape posted on the Web is step one to fame, fortune and your own reality show?
So Mean Betty’s diplomatic advice to those little devils in the FSB: learn the lessons of recent Amerikanski history. If a blowjob in the Oval Office can be forgiven and forgotten, you can bet your borscht you can’t blackmail our young diplomats with a blurry sex tape. So don’t even try.