Mean Betty on the Real-Life Celebrity Vampires
From Gossip Girls to socialites to Twilight stars, Mean Betty is convinced the undead walk among us.
Darlings … as you have surely heard, the latest offering in the Twilight goldmine sensation, New Moon, raked in an incredible amount of money over the weekend, drawing hordes of fang-struck fans to the tune of nearly $150 million. Now, Mean Betty has read the books – charming diversions, to be true. Mean Betty saw Twilight, and she is not immune to the charms of one Robert Pattinson (in character, kittens, in character. Robert Pattinson has about 10 good years of growing up to do before he’s man enough for Mean Betty – cougars be damned.) But really, pets, Mean Betty simply can’t fathom the frenzy – there doesn’t seem to be a natural explanation for it. However, taking a gander at a few recent celebrity photos, your dear Mean Betty can’t help but wonder (once again) – is there a more sinister reason for this collective vampire-lust? Could, in fact, the world be slowly being taken over by real bloodsuckers? Think about it, dear ones – doesn’t this explain so much? Not just about all the Twilight madness, but why so many of our celebrities look so good – and are so believable – as the undead?
Here are 10 celebs Mean Betty suspects of being … well … more than meets the eye!
1. Taylor Momsen
Just look at this gothic little Gossip Girl! Doesn’t she look fresh from a feeding at some unfortunate Upper East Side playground?
2. Leighton Meester
Speaking of blood-sucking Gossip Girls, obviously it’s spreading amongst the cast. Golden girl Blake Lively better watch her back neck.
Leighton is featured on the cover of December’s UK Glamour – she told the magazine: “I’ve hated every boyfriend I’ve had.” What’s the matter, Leighton, dear … were they not to your taste? She adds: “Every time I’ve fallen in love, it’s just momentary.” As long as it takes to drain their blood, Leighton darling? And – ominously – she confesses she never keeps in touch with her old boyfriends. Hmmm … wonder why? Could it be — there’s nothing left to keep in touch with?
Of course Mean Betty doesn’t have to tell you that Leighton’s current beau, Gossip Girl’s Sebastian Stan, was born in … ROMANIA. Need Mean Betty say more?
3. Mary-Kate Olsen
Yikes – doesn’t Mary-Kate look like that creepy little girl in Interview with a Vampire? But even more disturbingly … she’s the spitting image of Madonna! She’s a wee little ferocious Madonna mini-me! And we all know the Material Girl is a card-carrying member of the un-dead.