Mean Betty's Celebrity Pants Fund

We simply must do something!

Mean Betty’s Celebrity Pants Fund

We simply must do something!

-Mean Betty

 Esquire

Terrible news kittens! Blake Lively has appeared on the cover of Esquire and, as you can see above, she’s still suffering from what Mean Betty is starting to fear is an incurable disease … the dreaded pantless virus.

Enough is enough, my darlings! First Lady Gaga, then Rihanna and Blake Lively – who seems to have a terribly virulent strain of it – and only just recently dear little Natalie Portman! Who’s next? Mean Betty can no longer sit idly by and watch this senseless suffering. If Lindsay Lohan can become an international do-gooder, why then, so can Mean Betty!

Read Mean Betty on Lindsay Lohan’s India Documentary

And so, Mean Betty, with much humility and in the most modest manner possible (no applause please. No, really!), announces her non-profit charity that is sure to one day be recognized in the ranks of UNICEF and of course Bono’s ONE campaign (except without the goofy sunglasses)…

The Mean Betty Fund for Celebrity Pants

Mission: To find a cure, at whatever cost.
And to provide our suffering starlets with pants. Or leggings. Whatever’s cheaper.

Get your checkbooks ready, darlings! Mean Betty will let you know as soon as possible how to make donations. In the meantime though, Mean Betty advises not looking at those photos in Esquire for too long – we just don’t know how this disease is transmitted. Mean Betty hates to think of a mass epidemic during these frigid winter months. And Mean Betty simply quakes in fear to think what damage could be caused to Esquire’s male readers …

Now, Mean Betty needs to make a few phone calls. First up of course – Mean Betty’s Rolodex of Hollywood producers! Lindsay Lohan had the right idea … can’t you just see the documentary now, kittens?

xo,

Mean Betty

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