Octo-Angelina, Kate Moss, Russian Accessory Girls and More
The Week in Review
Single White Octomom
Every week, Mean Betty tries to avoid thoughts of Octomom, and every week Mean Betty simply can’t resist. The latest octo-juice: Nadya Suleman’s stripper past seems to have been for wee bit longer than she previously admitted. (And she seemed like such a nice young lady!) According to In Touch Weekly, Nadya didn’t merely test out the topless dancing waters for “one night,” she in fact held the post of “exotic dancer” for at least a year, shaking her octo-boobs for bachelor parties and amateur stripping contests alike.
The pièce de résistance? Brace yourselves, pets. Her stripper name was … you guessed it … ANGELINA. (Cue creepy psycho music …)
If Mean Betty were Brad Pitt, she’d watch out. Or at least keep an eye on Nadya and her stiletto heel collection.
Please Go Away Now, Kate Moss
Is anyone else tired of Kate Moss yet? Is she going to be around for all eternity? Here she is yet again in Vogue, looking for all the world as if her usual accessory wasn’t a cigarette, a cocktail and a drug-addict boyfriend.
Are Russians the New “It” Accessory for Aging, Has-Been Celebrity Men?
First Mel Gibson, now the utterly creepy Ronnie Wood.
Matthew McConaughey Stinks
Matthew dear, there’s no question you’re hot (see right), and Mean Betty understands you have this whole bohemian cowboy thing going on, but when you get hot, we do not want to smell you. No deodorant, really? Don’t think of it as “smelling like someone else” (apparently Matthew’s main objection); think of it as not smelling like a disgusting pig.
Perhaps this will tempt you, Mattie dear: a marvelous “natural” deodorant made from hemp! In fact, if you Google “marijuana and deodorant” you’ll find apparently the cans are used to hide weed frequently. So now you can not only not stink, you can multitask!
Try a Bathing Suit, You Might Like It
And the week’s winner for least self-respect goes to … the naked woman clinging to Richard Branson’s back like a monkey:
Ta-ta for now, dears … until next week.