Megan Fox, Nicolas Cage and Michelle Obama: Mean Betty Week in Review
This week’s celebrity gossip and news highlights
Forgive, pets. Mean Betty is just not herself this week. Such sad, sad times … Mean Betty is truly, truly heartbroken. Just the other day I heard the terrible news … Shall I share it with you? Mean Betty hates to ruin your day. But surely you’d want to know. Are you sitting down? Kleenex at hand? Here goes …
Poor, dear, sweet Nicolas Cage has been (so hard to type this), due to the economic situation … FORCED TO SELL HIS BAVARIAN CASTLE.
Isn’t that just the saddest thing? What has the world come to, if our most rich and famous celebrities can’t afford their Bavarian castles? THANK GOD – he still has his English castle, or truly, Mean Betty would have to take to bed.
Too Foxy for Her Life
Another sad tale: poor Megan Fox just hates being a sex symbol. Don’t you feel very, very sorry for her? Mean Betty certainly does. Poor dear. Just imagine being a famous, beautiful actress, with people constantly wanting you to be in their magazines and come to their parties. Could anything be worse? (Aside from being a famous, Bavarian castle-less action star, of course!) What is she supposed to do, STOP wearing f&*k-me shoes, baring her cleavage, and posing half-naked in photo shoots? The woman is a serious actress, and these are JOB REQUIREMENTS.
Such a pity. So young, so burdened.
Madonna and Child
Mean Betty WAS going to write a nasty missive about Madonna‘s obsession with adopting African toddlers, when there are plenty of kids (black ones even!) right here in the USA who could use a mother, BUT … Mean Betty hears the Material Girl just sent a hefty chunk of money to help the Italian earthquake victims. So it seems in poor taste to mock her adoption problems. For now.
Michelle Obama Style
How to put this delicately … Now that Michelle Obama‘s triumphant tour of Europe (and all the accompanying worshiping of her outfits) has come to an end, is it permissible at all to admit that some of her fashion choices were, well … how do you say … hideous?
Now before you get your I HEART MRS O panties in a bunch, let Mean Betty just say, honestly, pets, Mean Betty thinks the First Lady has a lot going for her in the looks department. She does cut a lovely figure in her trademark simple, sleeveless numbers (giving us all the opportunity to marvel at her arms and feel bad about our own). But then she suddenly breaks out the most mysteriously gaudy get-ups … what’s the thought process there? For example, this dreadful, giant bow must never see the light of day again. It just must not.
Or this unfortunate ensemble:
Why the full skirt? Why the green shoes? WHY, WHY?
Sigh. It’s a tough job being the voice of reason, but someone has to do it. Until next week, my dears.