The Bachelor's Melissa to Dance With The Stars

The scorned Melissa Rycroft, of the Bachelor, puts on her dancing shoes and dances with the stars.


The Bachelor’s Melissa to Dance With The Stars

The scorned reality star is putting on her dancing shoes.

-Carrie Seim

Melissa Rycroft on the BachelorIt’s musical chairs in reality TV land this week.

Sweet Melissa Rycroft, who was so scandalously scorned on The Bachelor last week, will now be swept off her feet on Dancing With the Stars.

Melissa will replace Access Hollywood host Nancy O’Dell, who suffered a knee injury and had to withdraw from competition, according to People. And Holly Madison, former head g.f. on The Girls Next Door, will pinch hit for singer Jewel, who also bowed out with knee problems.

It may be just the dose of reality television the doctor ordered for Melissa. What better way to mend a better heart than with some fancy new dancing shoes — and some risqué new costumes? Get ready, slimey Jason – because Melissa’s about to show you – and “America” – what you’re missing.

I can’t wait for the moment when Jason flip-flops again, forsakes Molly and crawls back to a besequined Melissa. (Oh, you know this is coming. And they’ll be an After, After, After The Rose Ceremony to prove it.)

Except this time, sniveling Jason will get a swift kick from Melissa’s tap shoe. And we, “America,” will finally get the justice we so dutifully earned. Bravo!

Normally I would question the wisdom of returning to reality so soon after public humiliation. But we all know it was Jason who looked like a complete idiot. Melissa has a talent for conducting herself with class and grace, which will no doubt carry over to her Dancing stint. Plus she’s got “America” on her side, not to mention a body that’s oh-so-worthy of those skimpy outfits (or lack thereof).

Jilt me once, shame on you. Jilt me twice, shame on fabric that covers my lady parts.

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0 thoughts on “The Bachelor's Melissa to Dance With The Stars

  1. Carrie Seim…your writing is always brilliant and funny! Thank you for that. My comment is not against you…it is against ABC… ummm, since WHEN is a “reality show” contestant a STAR? PUHHHHLEEEZE! ick, Ick, ICK! Very disappointed in this decision!

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