More Chores = More Sex?
A new survey reveals that doing more housework leads to getting busy in the bedroom.
A new study has revealed that the more chores a person does, the more sex he or she has. Now, had the study focused exclusively on how housework pays off for guys, of course the findings would have made perfect sense. Most women I know would give it up on the spot if they saw their mate wielding a Swiffer or emptying the dishwasher of his own accord. But here’s the part that stumps me: The study, which WSJ.com reports surveyed 6,877 married couples and was published online in the Journal of Family Issues, found that for both men and women, more housework equals more sex.
As a compulsive type-A neat freak who has been known to make the bed around her snoring husband in the morning, I find this hard to believe. According to this theory, considering the staggering number of hours I already log sorting socks and chasing crumbs and plumping pillows each week, I should be having more sex than a billionaire in a brothel. Am I to believe here that my marital KY consumption would skyrocket if I just added a little more scrubbing, scouring, sweeping, sponging and straightening to my endless daily to-do list? Would a gleaming toilet bowl or streak-free windows — made that way through my own tireless efforts and an excess of elbow grease — make me feel ever-more-frisky? Even more discouraging to consider, is my housekeeper swinging from her ceiling fan at night in a pair of crotchless chaps while I’m passed out wearing ear plugs and flannel Hello Kitty pajamas?
The researchers (a man and a woman; no word on whether or not they are having sex with one another) admit that they were surprised by their own findings. Once they finished scratching their respective heads, ultimately they chalked it all up to something called the “multiple spheres” hypothesis, which suggests that people who “work hard” also “play hard.” Interestingly, the same study also found a positive correlation between time spent at the office and frequency of sex — and reportedly they mean sex with the regular old ball-and-chain at home and not a few quickies in the supply closet with the office UPS guy or a cute administrative assistant. The way the researchers explain it is that compared to “normal folks,” both workaholics and vacuum-addicts are better at prioritizing their time to make room for the things they enjoy. I have a slogan for them: Go-Getters: Making Life Miserable for the Rest of Us since the Seventh Grade Science Fair.