Moving on After My Breakup

The end of my relationship made me realize what I really want.
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Moving on After My Breakup

The end of my relationship made me realize what I really want.

-Carrie Seim

Holding hands

The relationship I’ve been in for the last year ended, just before Christmas. There, I’m writing it down. You’re reading it. It happened.

I won’t go into too many details, but you’ve certainly clicked through enough of my stories over the past few months to realize how much I adored him and how much I believed he adored me. He was everything I thought I wanted in a life partner. Smart, responsible, caring, grown-up.

Things were going well. We shared a year of seasons together. We’d made plans for New Year’s and my birthday and beyond. We enjoyed a clever repartee; parried effortlessly. We even had that damn Tiffany catalogue he handed me to peruse only days before saying goodbye.

(Aside: Who breaks up with someone right before Christmas? Is that really, absolutely necessary?)

Then again, things weren’t going so well. We fought over things he thought were silly and I thought were important, such as whether or not I could carry my handbag in his house, because I might accidentally mark up his pristine walls with it. Or whether or not I could handle his excruciating work schedule without becoming upset as plans were constantly dashed at the last moment.

Read Perfect on Paper

In the end, I believe we’re both very independent, very busy people with very specific ideas of what a relationship should entail. Unfortunately, as much as (I believe) we both had hoped they would, those relationship paradigms didn’t complement each other.

So on the day it ended – very abruptly, very suddenly, ON THE PHONE – it was in the middle of an argument over something of such little consequence and with such uncharacteristic cruelty that I sat for many minutes in shock, cradling my BlackBerry, uncertain of what had just happened. When he confirmed the breakup the next day IN AN EMAIL – after 15 months of sharing our lives together – I thought I’d be devastated.

And I was.

For a bit.

I was devastated not only by the fact that it was over, but by the words he’d chosen: “I’m looking for something more profound.”

Whatever happened to, “Sorry, it didn’t work out. No hard feelings?”

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0 thoughts on “Moving on After My Breakup

  1. what a nice article, thanks for sharing such an intimate part of your life! it’s amazing to know how long “their last words” will stay with us! one of my ex’s words will forever resonate: “i never want to see you again!” …… how ironic that now after 12 years, he moved less than 1/2 mile from my house. 😉

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