Moving on After My Breakup
The end of my relationship made me realize what I really want.
The relationship I’ve been in for the last year ended, just before Christmas. There, I’m writing it down. You’re reading it. It happened.
I won’t go into too many details, but you’ve certainly clicked through enough of my stories over the past few months to realize how much I adored him and how much I believed he adored me. He was everything I thought I wanted in a life partner. Smart, responsible, caring, grown-up.
Things were going well. We shared a year of seasons together. We’d made plans for New Year’s and my birthday and beyond. We enjoyed a clever repartee; parried effortlessly. We even had that damn Tiffany catalogue he handed me to peruse only days before saying goodbye.
(Aside: Who breaks up with someone right before Christmas? Is that really, absolutely necessary?)
Then again, things weren’t going so well. We fought over things he thought were silly and I thought were important, such as whether or not I could carry my handbag in his house, because I might accidentally mark up his pristine walls with it. Or whether or not I could handle his excruciating work schedule without becoming upset as plans were constantly dashed at the last moment.
In the end, I believe we’re both very independent, very busy people with very specific ideas of what a relationship should entail. Unfortunately, as much as (I believe) we both had hoped they would, those relationship paradigms didn’t complement each other.
So on the day it ended – very abruptly, very suddenly, ON THE PHONE – it was in the middle of an argument over something of such little consequence and with such uncharacteristic cruelty that I sat for many minutes in shock, cradling my BlackBerry, uncertain of what had just happened. When he confirmed the breakup the next day IN AN EMAIL – after 15 months of sharing our lives together – I thought I’d be devastated.
And I was.
For a bit.
I was devastated not only by the fact that it was over, but by the words he’d chosen: “I’m looking for something more profound.”
Whatever happened to, “Sorry, it didn’t work out. No hard feelings?”