My Hubby Doesn't Call Me Enough

A woman asks why it is that her husband hardly ever calls her.


My Hubby Doesn’t Call Me Enough

Dear ASK REAL GUYS: My husband has a problem checking in while at work, and sometimes avoids answering his cell. Why is this?

Matt: Well, he may be legitimately busy at work. However, he may feel like there’s nothing necessarily important to communicate, so he feels there’s no need to reach out to you or answer your calls. Tell him that you appreciate when he checks in during the day and gauge his reaction. It may just be a matter of clarifying your expectations.

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0 thoughts on “My Hubby Doesn't Call Me Enough

  1. My 2 cents:

    I read a lot of advice columns where people say, “my partner does XYZ that bothers me” and the advice is usually to communicate what’s bothering them to their partner. However, in some situations – this being one of them, I think you also need to stop and ask whether you’re listening to your partner. Is what you’re asking even fair or realistic?

    Many people feel strongly that personal lives should not encroach on professional lives. Your husband may be one such person. Or perhaps his colleagues and/or bosses feel this way. Could he be getting pressure at work to keep unnecessary phone calls to a minimum? It sounds easy enough that someone can call during lunch, or a break…but frequently people don’t even take lunches. Meetings are commonly scheduled during lunch and many businesspeople are lucky to just grab lunch at their desk. It sounds simple enough that someone could answer the phone for a 1 minute phone conversation, but if you’re in the middle of something and deep in thought, that 1 minute conversation could take 10-15 minutes to recover from. That might be lost productivity that doesn’t go unnoticed by those he works with.

    Sure, if something is important, by all means, your husband should prioritize taking your calls. However, if you’re one of the spouses who just likes to have frequently contact with their husband throughout the day for no specific reason, it might be difficult for your husband and he might not feel comfortable saying something to you about it, for fear it might upset you.

    I’d figure out why think your husband NEEDS to check in from work and why he’s not doing it. Would a simple call as he’s leaving suffice, to see if he needs to pick up something or do something before coming home? Can you agree that you can text or email each other (which can be done easily while waiting for a meeting to start) to check in and phone calls are saved for emergencies only?

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