Money Bags Won't Stop Bragging

A woman is happy about her friend's recent good fortune, but it tired of her friend bragging about her money.

I’m Losing It

My Newly Rich Friend

Please don’t rub it in!


woman in car with bagsI’m happy for you. Really, I am. You’ve worked hard for your six-figure salary and you’re marrying a guy who makes several million a year. That’s great. Awesome. Truly wonderful. Have I made myself clear? I’m happy for you.

But please remember not everyone is as blessed as you are. I watch you drop $800 on a single pair of shoes without blinking an eye and think about how I sweat a $20 t-shirt. I’m ashamed to admit – because I’m happy for you, really I am – that I got a little nauseous as I watched you plunk down that titanium card. Not because I begrudge you shoes that cost more than any car I ever owned, but because maybe I’m the tiniest bit envious. Envious because when I get a check for $800 there are about a dozen bill collectors clamoring for a piece of it. And I realize, that’s my problem not yours. But it doesn’t make it any easier.

And your fiancé? Great guy. Seems to love you to death. But can he please shut up about square footage? I don’t care how big his house is, as long as it holds the two of you comfortably. Nor do I care how much his car costs. Or, for that matter, the watch he’s wearing. As long as it gets you to the church on time, I don’t give a shit that it was made in Switzerland and has diamonds embedded in its face. In fact, that actually does bother me because I don’t think that anyone – no matter how much money they have at their disposal- should spend ten grand (or whatever he spent) on a timepiece.

So please take some of your gazillions and buy yourself a little perspective, my rich friend. Most people don’t have it as easy as you do. I’m not asking you to make less money or buy less crap, but I just wish you’d be a little sensitive to the fact that some of us are seriously screwed when it comes to what’s inside our wallets.

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