My Lovely New Hair Accessory

One mother's new hair accessory is her 1-year-old son!

In Her Words

My New Hair Accessory

The hot new hair trend everyone should follow!

-Milly Bernice,

a mother holding her sonA little over a year ago, I got a brand-new hair accessory. It’s not particularly expensive, initially, and nor do you have to visit a fancy boutique.

What is this adornment?

A child.

Despite the fact that I can barely unscrew the lid on the peanut butter, I have given birth to someone who appears to have the strength of 10 wrestlers. Most of this strength is located in his 1-year-old fingers and concentrated toward the task of wrenching my shoulder-length hair from my skull or attempting to separate cat from tail.

A sensible woman would cut her hair, and the many mothers I’ve seen sporting both elfin crops and grappling toddlers suggest that this is the norm. I look ridiculous with short hair, though. No exaggeration. A blanched pumpkin in a Beatles wig, or even worse, if the haircut I had when I was 8 is anything to go on. I look like Don Johnson circa 1985, and I’d really rather not.

When he is not wrenching my hair hard enough to make me yelp, he is a fashion statement. Some women have elastics with flowers on, others have colored grips; I have a small ginger-haired boy dangling from my hair.

Clearly he suits some outfits better than others. With casual clothes for popping to the shops or taking him to visit the nurse, he fits well. With a suit or that nice dress lurking in the back of my wardrobe? Not so great. I have a plan for this, though. My solution is to make my vocal little accessory a trend. “You mean you don’t have one of your own? Do you read no fashion magazines?” I will ask whenever the curious question me.

And just hope I don’t yelp too loudly.

Milly Bernice lives in not-terribly-sunny Derbyshire in the U.K., where she is a partner in an IT consultancy. Her personal blog is

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