The Newlywed Life: I'm Losing My Single Friends

Does getting married mean saying good-bye to your single friends?
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The Newlywed Life: I’m Losing My Single Friends

Does getting married mean saying good-bye to your single friends?

-Jenna Mahoney

Two women arguing

I’ve always been a girl’s-girl. Not so much a girly girl or one of those group-of-girls-types, just someone who truly treasures my friendships with the X-chrom havers. I’ve always had a strong core of friends even though many of them weren’t friends with each other. And I thought that those relationships were the thick-and-thin types. And they were … until I got married.

G and I have been friends since we were 6. We learned how to ski, swim and sail together. We double dated at the prom and lived together at the beach one summer. Post-college, we traveled around Europe and eventually ended up living in the same neighborhood in New York City. G even has keys to my house. And even though as adults we weren’t as tight as before (it wasn’t uncommon for me to celebrate major holidays with her family), I still referred to G as my BFF. Not anymore.

When Husband and I got engaged, uncontrollable, unfathomable joy entered my life. Honestly, I never understood the word ecstatic until that day. And just like every newly affianced in America I wanted to share the news with my dearest. G picked up the phone with a voice of disenchantment and boredom. “G, I’m getting married!” “Shock-er,” she said. “Shock-er” was her response to my biggest news in life since getting into my first choice school early decision. Now, grant it, after nearly a decade of dating, my news wasn’t that big of a surprise. But still, I expected more from her.

I never got it.


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0 thoughts on “The Newlywed Life: I'm Losing My Single Friends

  1. FBNYC says:

    Happy birthday! I’m sorry your friend ditched you… I feel like this happens even if you start dating someone, not necessarily just when you get married. I think friends who are single just assume you will change and get all “coupley” so they distance themselves first before you do.

  2. shelby says:

    You are sure that you didnt pull away first? My “BFF” thinks that we are still the same as always. its not true. we were best friends for 2yrs, did everything together, talked and saw each other 6 days a wk. then she got a bf. that wasnt bad until she no longer had time.. she wld cancel get togethers, then the day the man i thought i was going to marry dumbed me… i called her and had to ASK her to come be with me. her response was “i just made my __ a pie… i guess i can come 4 5min. by then of course i said forget it. my point is she did this and a whole lot more, so are you certain that you didnt pull away first?

  3. justanothergirl says:

    well think of it this way.. put yourself in her shoes..

    she’s getting married.. great.. -pause..
    better get use to her not being around..
    who else have i got to wipe my tears now..

    metaphorically.. like a shoelace on a shoe.. you can replace it anytime..
    but replaced is more likely to be lost and forgotten than used again..

    point is.. if she told you that.. you might have been psyched for a bit.. till you realize.. though she might have just gained a life long partner.. you just lost your other half..

    you’re gonna be too busy for her..
    you’re gonna have less common interest..
    she’s afraid.. and knows she’s about to be left out.. so why hang on? and really an email on her birthday? how thoughtful..
    but bff wise? err not so thoughtful.. where are you? home with your husband cuddling.. her? single.. prolly will have mindless sex thats not even worth remembering tomorrow..

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