Throughout my engagement, G dropped the ball on all things that oldest friends in the world are expected to do when someone is getting married. She didn’t show at my shower and she spent 15 minutes — tops — at a soiree thrown in honor of our engagement. And she bailed last minute on my bachelorette party even after my parents told her they would pay her portion. But the worst offense of all — she didn’t even respond to the formal wedding invitation.
Now, I get that G is a single lady. And I understand that even though we’re north of 30, she doesn’t make much money, which is why I only asked her to participate in free wedding-based activities. I never obligated her to listen to my Big Day stress, nor did I bore her with explanations of the invitation designs and the detail of my wedding dress. I just wanted her to be my friend. And somehow she was unable.
As much as I didn’t offer details or information, G didn’t ask. Well, she asked, but only if it affected her position as a guest. “Can I bring a date?” “Only a significant other.” “Where am I going to stay?” “Your parents have a house a mile away from the church.” “Can I get a ride?” The convos got so weirdly stressful that I cut contact short. And at my wedding, we spoke briefly.
Since then, we’ve seen each other at a funeral; she’s had a birthday and so have I. I e-mailed her to wish her many happy returns and I’m still waiting for mine (in her defense it is today, so she still has a few more hours.)