News from Brad-landia
Jennifer, Angie and Porn ‘Staches
With all the recent hoopla involving Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie, we thought it high time to take a look at the comings and going of the – er – missing link between the two. That’s right, ladies, we’re talking about none other than perennial Hollywood hunkster, Brad Pitt.
Maybe it’s the allure of his new porn stache, maybe it’s aspirations to presidential security detail or maybe it’s the just thought of protecting their bajillion dollar money tree, but Brad Pitt’s own bodyguards went above and beyond the call of duty Monday night at a VIP screening of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
The paps were, well, being paps – being aggressive, trying to get the best shot (perhaps also lured in by the porn stache, recently spotted on George Clooney and Robert Downey Jr. as well) – and though Pitt didn’t seem to mind (after all, he IS a pro at this point), his security detail sure did.
In no uncertain terms, the security team tried to strongarm all the photogs out of the theater while Brad himself was being pushed, shoved and spun about by the plainclothes guard who was supposed to be protecting him! Word has it he eventually escaped to an upstairs bathroom until the scene cleared – then I’m sure it was back to life as normal – you know, with his super sexy WIFE baby mama, gorgeous children and… porn stache.
(No, I can’t get over the porn stache already! Shave!it!off!)
Elsewhere in non-porn stached Bradlandia, bits of an upcoming interview with Oprah have been leaked – and suddenly it makes sense why Poppa Pitt is only ever photographed with four kids at a time – that’s all he can handle! (I can’t say I blame him, that’s a LOT of kids.) He does also say (as has Angie) that there are plenty more coming – why stop now, the more the merrier, and all that jazz. In fact, rumor has it their next stop in the endless baby-shopping trip is South America, which should round out the clan nicely, eh?
Brad says he’s the happiest he’s ever been – but what we want to know is … where was Angie when the security started going nuts? Hmmm?
And in a blast from the past, Brad’s ex, Jennifer Aniston (so lovingly referred to by perennial fave Perez Hilton as “Maniston” has finally broken her silence about their breakup, saying that she had no idea at the time what exactly was happening in Brandlandia, even though she lived there.
Oscar rumors, a brood of multi-cultural children, a globetrotting movie-star girlfriend, a beach-bound movie-star ex-wife, and a new mustache to groom … how DOES he keep it all going?