Postcards from Mommywood: Too Sexy, Too Soon

Tween-age girls seducing boys? Believe it.
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Postcards from Mommywood: Too Sexy, Too Soon

Tween-age girls seducing boys? Believe it.

-Diane Clehane

Too Sexy, Too Soon

As the mother of a five-year-old girl, I often wonder how I’m going to protect my daughter from an overtly sexual culture that seems to relentlessly bombard kids with images of seductive clothes, music, television shows and movies. Granted, she’s not even in kindergarten yet, so I have some time before this becomes a real concern.

Still, any time I shop for clothes for her, I’m reminded that childhood isn’t what it used to be. Hip huggers, sequins, and pint-sized versions of sexy adult clothes abound – but not in my house. My daughter has been taught that glitter is cheesy. Sometimes my rules make it difficult to shop for clothes, but we manage.

Editing a girl’s wardrobe is comparatively easy, though; what’s much harder is protecting her against the images of overly enthusiastic girly crushes on boys, and tales of first loves that are more suitable for much older kids. With the likes of Hannah Montana and her real-life counterpart, Miley Cyrus (I’m not a fan of either of them), and any number of shows targeted to young adults but watched by tweens (Gossip Girl and every reality show out there, especially the stomach-turning Jersey Shore) our children are being exposed to aggressively sexual images and behavior at a much earlier age than ever before.

And how’s this for reality? A while back Jamie Lynn Spears, the star of Zoey 101, was all of 17 when she announced that she was pregnant. She was Nickelodeon’s biggest star, for goodness’ sake! She celebrated the birth of her child with a glowing cover story in OK! Magazine. What lesson do you think her fans learned from that?

What concerns me the most is that I think some girls’ behavior may be affected by all this. I don’t know if there’s any correlation, but I have been struck by the number of moms I know who have told me their young sons – yes, you are reading this right – have been “stalked” by girls eager to begin a romantic relationship.

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I know this is all anecdotal, but no fewer than three mothers of boys between the ages of 11 and 14 have told me that they’ve had to tell the girls to cool it. And, says one, her son was relieved by his mother’s intervention. “I think he was feeling the pressure to go along with it because it’s what the other kids were doing, but he’s not ready,” she told me. “He couldn’t find a way to tell this girl to back off, so I did, and both of us are tremendously relieved.”

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0 thoughts on “Postcards from Mommywood: Too Sexy, Too Soon

  1. I so agree with you. My 13 year old’s stepmother allowed her to have an online account on My Yearbook. She was not allowed to have a myspace page, but she got a friend of hers who could make her a page. You would even believe the things these 13 year old girls were posting on there. She added my husband (her dad) as her friend on myspace so he was able to see. She had her entire cell phone number and said “text me” (i do not believe a 13 year old needs a cell phone, but I digress), her entire first, middle and last name and her age. She also had a status on there, “click like if you would f*#k me” – you get the pic. My husband immediately called her mother and since, she has had her phone taken from her (her mother changed the number too) and no computer privileges at all. On My yearbook she was posting how she could “pop it” and stuff. Her mom is livid. But what they watch on t.v., the clothes they wear (short shorts), etc. are not monitored — oh wait, they can’t watch R rated movies, what was I thinking. It’s scary.

  2. My girls are 2 and 1 and I am already very worried and scared for what their adolescent years will be like. I hope I can instill in them to have more respect for themselves and their bodies.

  3. I have a 6 & 2 year old…(girls)…and every time I get one of those survey things on the bottom of the receipt when I buy their clothes…I comment on whether or not I think the clothing is appropriate for CHILDREN. I have noticed a slight change, and I haven’t seen as many of those short shorts with words like “juicey” written on the butt. So…maybe enough parents have said something that its getting through a little. :)

    As for the stalking thing…Personally, I would hope if one of my girls was acting that way the boy’s mother would COME TO ME to let me know. The child may be acting that way without parental knowledge. I know I did plenty of things without my parents knowing!! I think I was closer to 17 when I started to actively flirt with boys…but I let them pursue me. Not the other way around.

  4. My children are grown, but we worry about our girls and we need to worry about the boys too. When my son was a teen, I thought I heard someone at the door and went to check and didn’t see anyone…went to check on my son who was still asleep in bed and a girl was in bed with him. She just opened the front door and walked in the house and into his room! I started to pay more attention to locking the door and letting my kids know that they needed permission to have company.

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