Postcards from Mommywood: Why Can’t We Just Get Along?
We’re doing the best we can, so let’s stop the snarking. And we don’t mean just Kendra, Kate and Octo-mom.
Last week, while shilling for her own reality program on the Today Show, new mother Kendra Wilkinson threw a sucker punch at another mom, Kate Gosselin, when she indirectly criticized Kate for becoming a Dancing with the Stars contestant and said she herself would never, ever do that.
“I would definitely say ‘no’ to it,” Wilkinson said, sounding more than a little bit self-righteous. “I wouldn’t want to spend three months away from my baby. I am that mom who wants to be there every step.” What Kendra seemed to have conveniently forgotten was that virtually every minute of her earliest days as a new mother have been captured on camera and have served as fodder for endless tabloid stories.
Pot, meet kettle. Who is one reality-television mom to criticize another?
I can’t help but notice that Wilkinson wasn’t the first to indulge in a little ‘Kate Hate’. Last summer Octo-mom Nadya Suleman kept a straight face while accusing Gosselin of wearing a bikini so as to attract photographers. “I’m not as attention-seeking as Kate,” sniped the same woman who had Dr. Phil on speed dial from the delivery room when she gave birth to her brood. Suleman also managed to work into her comments that she “was in better shape” than Gosselin, adding, “No offense to her.” Of course not!
The whole thing would be laughable if it weren’t so sad. While Wilkinson and Suleman’s snarkiness smacks of jealousy over Gosselin’s pop-phenomenon status, their acierbic remarks are just a more public version of what goes on far too much in neighborhoods all over the country – where the cameras aren’t rolling.
Why can’t we moms support each other instead of trying to tear each other down?
While we bemoan the fact that we don’t get enough support from society for our multi-tasking lives, we still haven’t figured out that unless we band together and support each other for the choices we make in how we raise our families and lead fulfilling lives, we don’t stand a chance.
The culture war between stay-at-home moms and moms who have a job outside the home is no closer to being resolved than it was decades ago. As someone who straddles both worlds (I’m a freelance writer who works from home), I often feel like I belong in neither.