ASK REAL GUYS
Same Old Same Old
Dear ASK REAL GUYS: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now. Things are great I think; we have a lot of fun together and he cares about me for sure. I work 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., and he works 5:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. or so but we both try to find time to hang out, especially on off days. Although things seem good our relationship has gotten sort of monotonous. We are usually too tired to do anything besides seeing a movie or watching TV at his house, and he is very picky anyway about what he likes to do.
We text everyday from the time we wake up until the time we go to sleep; we also talk on the phone at least once a week. Now it’s like there’s nothing left to talk about, plus he’s really into football at the moment – which is fine with me – but we don’t have a lot of deep conversations.
I feel things are getting stale and he’s noticed the change as well. He told me that he doesn’t know if it’s bad that we run out of things to talk about.
We both hate small talk, but our lives aren’t nonstop action. Most of our days revolve around a certain routine and it makes our relationship feel very boring, as if it’s going nowhere. Is this normal? If it is, how can I show him that it’s OK? If it’s not typical, what are we doing wrong? We still want to date, we just want it to be fun.
Avery: You don’t seem to tell me what you want. You say that it’s seems boring but then you ask how you can show him that it’s OK. What do YOU want? If you want a relationship with lots of texting and very little human interaction, then you’ve got what you want. But if you want to move forward and have an exciting relationship then you guys need to make some serious changes.
What about changing your work schedules? What about designating a night each week where you commit to going out and really doing something more than just a movie or just hanging out at each other’s homes? One of you needs to kick-start this thing, and since you’re the one writing us, it sounds like YOU need to start the engine here!