I’m Losing It
Shoes as Sculpture
Guns, lightbulbs and tulips?
Let me preface this by saying that I fully agree that a great shoe is a work of art. From back in the early days of civilization, people have been creating truly gorgeous footwear – some of it functional, some of it decidedly not.
Lately, what we are seeing on the runways (and on Posh) is decidedly not. And some of these shoes are decidedly FUG on top of it all. Calvin Klein’s cheese-grater heels? Ugh! Come on! On the other hand, Prada’s sculpted tulip-inspired ceramic heels were quite lovely. I appreciate the Chanel gun heel, but that doesn’t make it attractive.
And then we have Posh. You know, Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham, she of the fashion-forward? She often chooses to push the envelope with her fashion, and I have to give her credit for pulling off some truly amazing pieces of couture fashion. But lately she’s taken to showing up in shoes that have no heels at all. None. I can’t for the life of me figure out how they even work – it must be a very complex algorithm designed to perfectly balance one’s body weight against the platform sole while using millions of invisible fairies flapping their wings at top speed to hold the rest of you up.
But the biggest problem of all?
They are ugly. U.g.l.y. ugly! Take them off, put them in the closet, QUIT blogging about them – don’t encourage such things! Just make them go away. Go ahead, I’ll hide my eyes until it’s all over.