Should You Vajazzle Your Vajayjay?

Here's what real guys think about bedazzling "down there” with crystals.
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Should You Vajazzle Your Vajayjay?

Here’s what real guys think about bedazzling “down there” with crystals.

-Carrie Seim

Girl in lingerie

You’ve tried everything to spruce up your lady parts. First, you made sure your garden was neat and tidy. Then, you trimmed up the hedges. (Read Does Bikini Razor Commercial Go Too Far?) Finally, you decided to go for the gold and deforested all of “virginia.” Where does a girl go from here?

One sparkly, special word: Vajazzle.

Vajazzling is a burgeoning beauty treatment, popular with celebs and kinky Martha Stewart-ites alike, that involves ladies bedazzling their freshly waxed lady parts just as they would their neato neckerchiefs or fancy fannypacks – with tiny, magical crystals.

So women aren’t just obsessively coiffing their “areas” to look like pre-teen Barbies – they’re now glue-sticking Barbie’s earrings down below, too?

Jennifer Love Hewitt sparked this sparkly trend a few weeks ago when she announced her labia luster on Lopez Tonight. “After a breakup, a friend of mine Swarovski-crystalled my precious lady,” J.Love said, while discussing her new dating book. “It shined like a disco ball, so I have a whole chapter in there on how women should vajazzle their vajayjays.”

It’s the 2010 equivalent of slapping on some lipstick when you’ve got the sads.

A bonus? These “labia sprinkles” (yes, that’s what I’m calling them) seem to serve double duty. They cover up those unsightly skin reactions that appear after no-nonsense Natasha rips hair from your body with her pot-o-molten-wax. Vajazzling also masks all evidence of childbirth.

Bryce Gruber, a writer from just gave the old vajazzle dazzle a whirl. She underwent a vajazzling treatment to cover her C-section scars. Here’s a description of the service she received from New York’s Completely Bare spa, the artists behind her pretty private-part art:

“Accessorizing your privates is the hottest rage. From crystal flowers to customized favorites, you too can now decorate your own jewels. Whether it’s a special occasion or you just want to sparkle everywhere, you can choose from an assortment of real Swarovski crystal designs so you can shimmer and shine.”

Vajazzle process

Real Swarovski? Your vagina could shine like the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree!

Read The 4 Most Embarrassing Problems “Down There”

Bryce has posted some shimmery spots of her “area” for all the world to see (see photos, above and on the next page). And for all of us to giggle like seventh graders about.

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15 thoughts on “Should You Vajazzle Your Vajayjay?

  1. I don’t think Dolly Parton has recorded “Fancy” at any time. Bobbie Gentry sang it first, and Reba McEntire covered it in ’91.

    In addition, the lyric goes like this: “I might have been born just plain white trash
    But ‘Fancy’ was my name.” The song was about a woman whose mother helped her escape from a life of poverty by buying her a fancy dress so that she could use her body and wits to make a life for herself.

    While I’ll admit that “vajazzling” does sound trashy, it’s got nothing to do with “Fancy,” which celebrates the spirit of a woman who didn’t allow herself to remain “poor white trash.”

  2. Wow… just when I thought that the labia makeup was as low as the fashion and beauty industries could go to try to make women feel inadequate so we’d spend money….. every time I lower the bar, they find a way to slither under it.

  3. i might do it lol…if i had the money..probably just when im single though cuz i dont think a guy would like it…it sounds really pretty..but i can see how it would be super uncomfortable too…i was reading on about just glitter down there like the kind you used on crafts when you were a little kid…or at least that’s what it looked like to me :)

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