How to Tell if He’s Just So INTO You
Target? Toilet Paper? Yep, he’s hooked
It used to be so easy. Do you like me? Check yes or no. Sadly, you can’t pass your crush a note during 4th period anymore.
After devouring the best-selling book and flocking to the new flick, we all know how to tell when a guy’s just not that into us. (Thanks for bursting our delusion bubble, Greg and Liz.)
But we at Betty think the more important question is: How can you tell when a guy’s just soooo into you?
We asked real men what signals they send when they’re helplessly hooked on a woman. Here are their surprising answers – and six foolproof ways to tell if He’s Just So Into You.
1. He Doesn’t “Tuesday” You
In our busy, busy, busy world, it’s easy for guys to say they’d love to see you but just don’t have time. Makes sense, but it sure doesn’t make love.
“If I really like a girl, my life suddenly isn’t as busy as I make it out to be,” 32-year-old marketing exec David tells us. “Suddenly I don’t have that 9:00 a.m. spin class followed by a three-week trip to Outer Mongolia.”
Smitten studs are also ready-for-prime-time players gentlemen.
“I ask to go out with her on a Friday or Saturday night,” says producer Jeff, 37. “I don’t just ‘Tuesday’ her.”
And men who are down with you don’t fall into vampire mode. They want to see you in the bright daylight hours, as well as after dark.
2. He Hits the Target (and the Wal-Mart)
Not all men hate shopping. And not all Canadians say “eh?” But if there’s one form of shopping men abhor above all others, it’s errand shopping. So if a guy offers to run to Target or Wal-Mart with you (without threat of death), you know he’s into you like nobody’s big-box business.
I once dated a guy who lived across the street from a CVS. And yet, when he needed toothpaste, he’d order it online and wait three days for it to arrive rather than cross the dreaded drugstore threshold.
Then one Sunday he volunteered to go to Target with me. I gently but vigorously inquired as to the state of his mental health — turned out he did have a bit of sickness, of the love variety.
“If I’m crazy about a girl, I just want to spend time with her. I don’t care if it’s a fancy dinner or buying toilet paper,” says Nick, 36. “Sometimes those little daily things are more intimate.”
Heidi, a 32-year-old teacher from Milwaukee, knew her husband-to-be was hooked when he offered to drive her to Wal-Mart so she could buy deodorant.
“I mentioned I needed deodorant, and I vividly remember him smelling each kind to find me the one that smelled the best,” she says. “For some reason that gesture really moved me.” A year later, the sweet-smelling couple tied the knot. No (apologies, pun police) sweat.
Which proves Betty rule 2.b: He’s just so into you if he pre-screens your deodorant for you!
3. He Makes the Bed … and Buys Toilet Paper
“I wash my sheets,” explains Michael, 29, a comedian, about how his behavior changes around a girl he really likes. “And I make sure there’s toilet paper in the bathroom.”
(Anyone else detect a toilet paper theme here? Apparently men see TP as some sort of wooing agent.)
The point is, if a guy is really into you, he’ll make the effort to make you comfortable. Maybe it’s clean sheets, maybe it’s his cozy sweater, maybe it’s … a fresh roll of toilet paper.
4. He Bro-mances You at REI, Boot Camp or 10,000 feet
If a man invites you to hang with him in the mountain-climbing section at REI, sweat with him at boot camp or skydive with him from a Cessna, he’s turning the bro-mance flames up to high.
These “man-tivities” (normally reserved for their best guy friends) are designed to prove that he’s well-equipped … in the testosterone department.
“I start suggesting things I can’t even do to impress her, like, ‘Hey, want to climb a mountain or hit the gun range?’ says Freddie, a 25-year-old editor. “I don’t know how to climb and I’ve never touched a pistol, but I want her to think I’m that guy.”
Men who are really into you want to excel in your presence. (All the while praying you don’t call them on their boastful bro-mance claims.)
Guys think intense physical activities will impress you – and, conveniently, get your blood pumping. When a man suggests you partner up for some high thrills, it means he sees potential for a marathon relationship, not just a marathon sheet session.
5. He Goes Ahead and Makes Your Day
When a man is serious about a special lady, he goes the extra mile. He makes you feel like you’re worth it, not worthless.
“You make her a late meal, you swing by for a quick hello, you make that call,” Josh, a 30-year-old banker says. “When you’re not really interested, you come up with excuses for not being there for her.”
Sure, everyone has rotten days and bad moods. But for the most part, a solid guy will cheer you up and not bring you down.
“When I’m with a girl I’m really into, I look forward to seeing her all day,” Brian, a giddy teacher says. “I’ll send her funny e-mails and try to make her laugh, so she’s in a great mood for our date that night.”
6. He Puts a Ring On It – or at Least a Boombox
Guys don’t need any special reason to act like idiots, but being in love with someone is a great excuse.
“I’ll do ridiculous things like stand outside holding a radio like in the movie Say Anything, says a 36-year-old ad exec. “I guess I just don’t care if I look stupid, I only care if it makes her happy.”
If a man’s really into you, he’ll want to announce it to the world. All you have to do is look for the clues: First he’ll want to snap photos with you, then he’ll update his Facebook status, and before you know it, he’ll want to put a ring on it. Or at least, put a John Cusack move on it.
Sure, he may look stupid. But who cares? You’ll finally know – he’s totally, officially, just so into you.
How do you know if a guy’s just so into you?